I'm absolutely amazed that you wrote this story at 15 years old. It was a really well written story, be very proud of yourself! Thanks for sharing. :)

Before he could reply, her mouth was on his and her pants were unbuttoning his shirt. Her hands travelled lightly over his muscles and stopped to trace a small scar on his left shoulder. "What happened here?"

"her pants were unbuttoning his shirt..." i think you meant hands?

and you spelled "traveled" wrong.

but other than that, this story, and all your others, are quite amazing. =]

-amulya

HAHAHA CUTE!

XX

"Before he could reply, her mouth was on his and her pants were unbuttoning his shirt."
pants--> fingers ?

!! :DD

it was two late --> it was too late

Nice.

Love it. This is so intense.
that he murderer her --> that he murdered her

WOW, Oh my god. totally unexpected. Though maybe I'd get more of the hints if I went back and reread some scenes.

HAHA. Great twist at the end! YAY

I thought their arguments were HILARIOUS

I didn't find it boring at all.It wasn't EXCITING, but I guess it was necessary background info.

YAYY

If I were reading this while it was in the process of being written, I would definitely not need cliffhangers as a primary incentive to come back for more. Your stories are brilliant; how can anyone resist coming back for more?

Lol. Nice story, though I think it might go more under Action/Adventure as opposed to Suspense. Or maybe not; I don't really know. Anyways, the Shane thing was a twist. I mean, I thought that he was just staring at Faith because he was a pervert or something. I'm curious as to where he started though. How did he choose the first girl he murdered? How did he choose which particular photographs to take as his next victims? Why did he seem so possessive of Adele (but then again he was possessive about Caitlin too so...)

I'm guessing that Tyler hung around with Adele after the whole thing wrapped itself up. Wow, I never suspected that Nickolas would have a younger sister! I guess we never really did find out all his secrets, but I guess that's okay. I don't know. Maybe this is just in terms of the romance in this story, or perhaps in the character development, but for some reason I feel like you just brushed upon the surface of it all, but didn't really dig deeper. Despite the fact that I've just read 18 chapters centered around them, I feel like I don't even really know the characters very well.

Well anyways, that's just me. The ending is cute :) I might check out your Blood Red Roses story as well. This story has definitely been a nice, refreshing break for me, since I actually just spent a while reading a whole bunch of stories by this other author, which all sound the same. But I digress. Keep writing!

-- Alyssa

Nikolas has an interesting past.

sunflowersing

That... was hott.

sunflowersing