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Reviews For: Helpless

Kay
2003-07-19
ch 1,
The night we first went to war with Iraq I was mad. Then, the next day at school, the whole school, except me, was happy and excited. True, I am the only democrat, but there is something wrong with my school if they were that eager to see death , pain, and utter destruction. It's just not right. What's worse, I felt exactly how the poem you wrote says. I'm sick of being told I'm an unpatriotic and weird. I'm sick of being told that I'm a young fool. And I've said it before: THE PRESIDENT IS AS NUTTY AS A FRUITCAKE! HE'S GOING TO GET US ALL KILLED! But the thing I hate most is being told that I can't do anything because I'm a girl! So I know what you're saying in that poem, and I agree.

2003-07-09
ch 1,
instead of using dashes and colons, you couldve set it up using better line break, ex:
I am

young
too damn young to vote
female
we never have a say in things
afraid
that idiot will kill us all

etc. it is more appealing when u lose the puntuation.
HNMN: Commander for the Rig...
2003-06-29
ch 1,
you seem bitter that you don't get to make the decisions. Well i hate to break it to you but that's how this thing works...we elect people to make decisions for us. Get over it!
Vicki11
2003-06-23
ch 1,
Well...it's rather straight forward. No real symbolism or poetic techniques. The structure is rather decent, although I think the concept could have been expanded on. Perhaps more careful choice of the words you used so they formed some sort of sentence or theme. They seem to have been chosen eratically instead of after thought (I know you wrote this at the spur of a moment, but I just thought I'd say that). Possibly elevating your vocabulary could help. "**" isn't exactly superb vocabulary. The Epitaph is very good though.

As for a personal reaction, I have to say that the "female" part is so out-dated. What do you mean "we never have a say in anything?" This isn't the fifties, so I wish people would stop using that excuse (considering that I'm a female myself who's never experienced such oppression). Also, who's the idiot? Saddam? I hope you don't mean our President, although I'm pretty sure that was your connotation. As an interesting sidebar, I bet President Bush felt pretty "helpless" himself, especially with how the UN handled the situation. But I digress. Anyway, I guess we all survived the great "world war three," not to smear it in or anything...
serasivad
2003-06-21
ch 1,
A the risk of sounding hopelessly cliched:

Preach it sista girl.
gothickowgrrl
2003-06-20
ch 1,
This is awesome...so true...thanks for reviewing my soldier poem...alothough...I dunno...I just don't like that poem for some reaosn __ __;; ..I dunnozz..I just don't like war I guess...but...yeah...thats beyond the point...this is your review...not mine...so er...i guess I'll shut up now...
rastavirgil
2003-06-20
ch 1,
props.
dupidnavagog
2003-06-20
ch 1,
If you're talking about that cowboy that lives in the White House, I'm scared of him, too. Does he think he's Josey Wales? C'mon.

There is a huge difference between being against the war and being patriotic. Sometimes speaking out against your country's actions is the most patriotic thing you can do.
freeorangeshoes
2003-06-19
ch 1,
did you vote for saddam?

aside from the serious idealogical issues i have with your piece...it is well written. as much as i want to, i dont think this would be the place to start a political debate. anyways, good job.
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