 MissAdventure 2005-04-07 . chapter 13It's pretty cute. Though the little chat faces are a bit distracting in the story. Perhaps you should type those on the internet chats only. And it would also be helpful to put the internet chat like:
Cait: I love you!Alex: I love you too.
That way it feels more like we're there reading it too. Other than that. I really like it. |
 jules2206 2004-08-09 . chapter 13omigosh i love this story, i cant wait to rad somemore, please updeate soon, BUHBBAI! |
 Jennson 2004-02-21 . chapter 6 Ok, this is pretty cute. The one critical thing I have about it though is how it's written. To be totally honest it's written really poorly. You're just telling us what's happening. 'Cait did this. they did that. He felt that' and so on. and well that's pretty boring. If you want to make the story better, show us don't tell us. Say your describing a person, you woudln't say: She had blonde hair green eyes and freckles. You would say: She looked up at him, locking her green eyes into his brown, nervously tugging strands of her long blonde hair behind her ears. She giggled uneasily, scrunching together the cluster of light brown freckles on her face.
That's an example, see how it's more interesting to read and it helps you to visualize it alot better? You have a great story line, I just think it would be a whole bunch better if you just changed your style a bit. Kepp up the good work though that you're already doing! |
 smiley face 2004-01-27 . chapter 8All I can say about this is CUTE! Wicked sappy, but in a good way. Are ya continuing it? ~ :) |
 smiley face 2004-01-27 . chapter 1heh, online relationships are crazy, arent they? cute chapter so far! ~ :) |
 EmeraldEyes89 2003-08-02 . chapter 6aw...that was a sweet story.I will be looking out for future updates. |
 LadyKiralesca 2003-07-15 . chapter 1all i have to say is, go cait! |
 Alex 2003-07-08 . chapter 5 I love this story and am dying for every new chapter ^_^ |