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| glitterjewele 2003-07-27 ch 1,   | great! it was a very nice example of iambic pentameter, if i may say so. :) the words just flowed, they didn't have a color to them, really, which is rare, very hard to do ~ especially when you have such a vivid and complex relationship being played out through them. the emotions were very good as well, but it was the relationship that most intrigued me in this piece. there seemed to be many layers to it. kinda a mixture of pasts and presents and futures, almost. because there is the intimate closeness, and the unwilling parting, and the toward the end it sounds like it might be the termination of the relationship without the negative feelings. very interesting indeed. my favorite lines and bits of lines in this one were: "true hope that lies in me and your voice the/strongest sound," "look so/far into where you've been and see a friend," and "the one true hope i've missed." a very solid and fascinating poem. nice work. :) |
| not sure yet 2003-07-14 ch 1, | something hard to get over for sure, muchly enjoyed this, awesome job |
| Salim Narek 2003-07-08 ch 1, | hey, for a second attempt at iambic, that's dretty darn good. It took me four sonnets to figue out what the hell "unaccented, accented meant." argh! some teachers don't explain anything... ^.^ ... ahem. anyway. Excellent flow. |
| midary 2003-07-08 ch 1, | aw... this is sweet ^_^ kinda sad. so are you learning poetry in school at the moment? i can't remember what iambic pentameter means. hehe, my 12 grade english class was pretty horrible, it was the year i was supposed to learn the most about poetry, but sadly i've blocked the whole year out. i kinda fake it now that i've started writing poetry. but i must say this poem flows amazingly well. ^_^ i like your choice of wording too. |
| Kyalia 2003-06-27 ch 1, | The rhyme scheme here was a little fuzzy, but other wise OK. |
| Kerbi 2003-06-26 ch 1, | i like it.. the iambic pentameter is actually very pleasing to read :-) |
| ohtwo 2003-06-26 ch 1, | Hey, thanks for reviewing me! I liked this poem - it was dandy and randy and . . . can't think of anymore cool words. Oh, wait, cool! Okay: it was also cool! ^^ |