heheh there were some funny parts in here^^ cram some ice into his pants!! i was kind of confused again, b/c there were an awful lot of chars. that i had to remember. Also, the objective of the chars. do not seem very clear to me. Agh, well, im slow anyway. Its prlly just me!^_^ Maybe things will be clearer in the next chapter.

Descriptions have improved tremendously. But dont incl. too much. Also, I tried visiting the pic for the story but it isnt working..

Keep up the good work!
blue raindrop

Hi... you have a good story here; everything is just so richly detailed (especially the first chapter). The chapter is a bit short, though, but then again maybe that's just me since i tend to write excruciatingly long chapters. You must continue this, though :) You're going into my fav's list.

=^._.^=

You mean you put Iaeruki in this one too? Damn, how long does this guy live for? I'm lovin it, looviin it!! You must MUST wtite more, Soon! Cyaz!

Hmm... alright. Now I'm kind of confused with Iaeruki. He also lost a girl like Koma? O and wait, what's this? Ein and Yoko are a developing couple? Is Koma jealous^^? After all, he keeps referring to her as a mirror image of his Hikaru. (its kind of freaky when he does it) Anyway, good chap! Anticipating another fight scene!^^ Yesh!

blue raindrop (continue continue! roots for Kaidona!)

great story!! The flashback was sounding more like an ending, but of course it serves for a different purpose. (I say it sounds like an ending b/c Koma sounds like he's defeating the last enemy, and confessing to his love^^) You're descriptions are really lovely, but just... use a little less of it in hte beginning. Or, break it up into smaller paragraphs or sentences, so the reader is not too intimidated. I like how its going so far, really! Don't stop writing just cuz you're not getting reviews. I was like that once too... but I enjoyed writing my story so much I kept at it anyway. I hope you continue this story nevertheless!!

this story will go on my fav story list. (wow! I seem to be finding so many good stories today!)

Hope I helped boost your self-confidence..

blue raindrop(If you can drop by and read my story 'Love Under a Blindfold', it would boost my self-esteem too^^)

Ineteresing way to start off. The dream seems so sad. Losing the one you love and protect with your life? Jeeze, you really have a thing for the tortured past don't you? *is taking this from the characters in Kai-chan's other stories*