Well, it's a very nice start. I like your style, as well as your sense of development. You've written enough to keep me thoroughly interested, but also enough to leave me feeling like something's lacking...
Well, I probably shouldn't be throwing too many rocks myself; lord knows I have more than enough issues to deal with on my own writing.
The only major thing I can really point out is some difficulty with subject in one paragraph, and one or two other places throughout. Mainly, it's because you address Ariel (or at least I think it's Ariel) as 'her', without actually establishing who 'her' is. It's generally important to keep reminding the reader of who is being discussed for clarity.
But, enough of me. I really like the basic idea and look forward to seeing what your next development would be.
Ja nee.

I like the cliff hanger. Good descriptions too, and your use of present tense lets the reader see things from your narrator's POV. The actions and descriptions are nice too. I hope you continue. n_n.

Good story, I like it so far. I'm sure it'll get better in later chapters, I hope you update.

I like your story a lot! V descriptive and mysterious! Can't wait to read more