Wow, this was awsesome! Great job!

wo, you actually wrote that? its really good!

Potential for truly great work here. Excellent use of words and phrases. Maybe a minor fine tune toward the last third, but absolutely wonderful imagery.

KEEP WRITING! You are a definitive talent.

F.C

Waii! Amazing, as always You know, I think I was put on this earth to swell your ego to the limit, ne? _ Keep up the good work!