So far so good. You might want to change Thought to tought in the third paragraph, first line, first sentence.

Shadow

it would be a streak of bad luck. otherwise it would just be counted as a streak of luck thats bad. and that doesnt make any sense.also in the first paragraph the last sentance when on for quitea a while. also the first sentance in paragraph too is sketchy.it starts off as wone thing, and then its like someone interrupts you, and then you go back, but ther is no pause in between. like a bad conversation instead of a flowing paragraph. theres no doubt in my mind that this story could develope, but you have to really concentrate on the small details of writing before you get down to the story itself. so please don;t think of this as a flame, and just as advice. i mean would you rather have abetter story, or just a bunch of people going, yeah great job. Thats what i thought. then when they say great job, you can have earned it. theyr not just excrementing out their mouthes.

It's about time someone decided to write a story taking place in the Shadowrun universe. My story, Second Wave, was inspired by it, but there's never been a story actually set in Shadowrun.
Anyway... I noticed some grammar problems and one or two misused words. Here's a little list of things to watch out for:
he thought, looking at the craft and it's gleaming, new interior (should be its, not it's)
and thought her a little about streetlife (should be taught)
Still, it was a pretty good story. Update soon.

this is pretty good. i've never really read anything like it before. please do continue. oh... and i'm a little curious... what does lujen actually look like? anyway, update soon, please.

Not sure there's much I can say about it this early in the story, apart from it's still going good, hope to see more.
It's in my Favourite Stories list now.

Looks like it's got potential, I would be interested in reading more.