Wicked story! Please write more.

How is it someone so young can write so well?

Another great story!!

And yes...I do want to see the sequels!!

Spawny

This is going to be an overall review here, I like this story a lot. Thank you for the review on my Cthulhu Mythos work. I have more on the main website if you want to go looking around, there is something about the Mythos -- if done write is one of the most original horror-subgenres outthere. This one is very suspenseful. If you liked some of mine, check out the writer on here named Hasan Abood.

So far (in this story and as far as your other works I have read) you have good descriptions. I liked your beginning. One thing, watch your comma usage, I tend to be comma-happy, but I think you could use more after words like so, etc. Watch your spelling, the double capitalization in chapter 3 (JAde, HOld, WHere, JAson, etc.), and begin new paragraphs when a new character is speaking to improve reading comprehension.

Great Story!! I was wondering if you can review my story called Earth is under attack. Thanks!

Bye