This is pretty good. It could some detail here and there but other then that it was great! If you have a chance can you check out my story Shade of darkness: The battle

oi. That was like .hack//infection! ...except you don't speak to the dead. Don't make your villains name be anything CLOSE to german-sounding.

Good story. It's getting freaky, though. Hmm, the name "ragnarok" seems familiar; I just can't place it...

ah! zwin-chan! geez! what is with you! man, this is getting kinda scary. is EVERYTHING YOU DO NOW based on *IT*?! there! i didnt say what it was, though, because you said not to ruin the thingy that also goes with the zoids thingy... but ah! stop this! stop the insanity! ... actually, dont. its kinda fun. and the stories are good too ^_^~

interesting, pretty good, PUT UP THE NEXT CHAPTER!

ah, short-** chapter! and oh, the cliches just keep on coming dont they :) and what's this Hacker you speak of?

ookk.. *cant help laughing* no offence if you didn't do this on purpose, but the dialogue was so cliche. of course you may have been aiming for the effect of a soap-opera scene, so just don't kill me.