I really like this, you should totally add more!

Really good work. You could have been more graphic on the "intimate" seens. But I liked it. Mind checking out my work?

That creeped the ** out of me .. but it was really rather good none the less, nice work :)

I just started on the site, and that(and a few others) has inspired me to write horrors and thrillers along with comedy. Thanks for the insparation!

Wow. That was kinda creepy. I'm not trying to flame u, I'm just saying...I was somewhat disturbed.

I would say that its very bad and stuff...but the girls dad, and boyfriend deserved it...and you always get what you deserve.
Would make a good Halloween story, or scary stories around the campfire though : > )
keep writing