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| pneumothorax 2005-04-26 ch 5, | Sudden but nice. |
| Rae 2004-02-19 ch 1, | It was alright, but the title suggests a medicore teen novel with a bright pink cover. How about writing about adults? |
| nari hitomi 2003-08-15 ch 5, | not a bad story.that was pretty good.nice job.youre a good writer.I think it was sweet the way he was drawing his friend and the story in general was really sweet. |
| AVIGON 2003-08-15 ch 5, | A cute little end to a cute little story. Glad to see the two of them end up together. |
| lilitaliandragon 2003-08-08 ch 2, | hey, i like it...different from your other stuff, but very cool...keep going! |
| cOOkiMoNsteR626 2003-07-24 ch 1, | sweet |
| pneumothorax 2003-07-18 ch 2, | this was a really good chapter, i'm glad that you've decided to make it serial [yay]. It's a longer chapter - i.e. something happened, but it was far more interesting and I was sad when I came to the end. I'd love it if you continued because it's definately got something going for it :) Cali. |
| daisycakes 2003-07-16 ch 2, | lol entertaining! So what's this guy's first name? His crush is Hazen Flynn, if I'm not mistaken? Hmm, you're right, it is sorta choppy, which makes it a little more difficult to separate the thoughts that the person has and the imagery you're using, but it looks fun~ keep writing! and r/r mine too, please. :) |
| AVIGON 2003-07-16 ch 2, | It's good. It's at times confusing that you say "he" instead of "Hazen" (which could be the teacher as well at some point), but that problem is solved towards the end. One or two sentences seemed a bit odd, so you might want to go in there and fix those. Other than that, I'd say: continue the story, you're on to something. |
| dizzy girl 2003-07-14 ch 1, | I liked that. it was cute. Is that it? |
| pneumothorax 2003-07-14 ch 1, | this was really good. it'd be great to cointinue - please do although it'd be okay if you left it there as a mystery. anyhow, it's really very good and i loved it although it was short. It was interesting the way that the got side-tracked when he was nervous, i really liked that because not many people do that in their fics :) Cali. could you plz r&r my fic if you have time? thanks! |
| AVIGON 2003-07-14 ch 1, | I love this! I know it's short, but you said a lot with so little words. I hope you have put up more like this, I'd love to read it. |