Wow, beautiful descriptions. I can picture the scene perfectly. Which actually I find strange because you hardly described the man himself. Perhaps everyone is able to fill this in with their own image of the "old man."

[The weariness in his bones/The emptiness in his stomach/And the painful aching/That thrives in his heart] Very good lines. They really summarize the point you're trying to make. He's tired, hungry, and alone (but phrased in a much more poetic way ;) ) Perhaps he was abandoned by his family, or suffers from memory loss and wondered away from his home. Either way, I get a strong sense of sorrow from this.

My only constructive note would be that I wish this was broken into a few sentences. The way this is right now with one whole sentence makes the flow sound . . . rambling, for lack of a better word. Maybe just read it through again and see if you see that, too?

Very wonderful poem, though. Beautiful descriptions and very emotional.

the poem almost made me cry!
it made me realize how important our parents are!
hope you read and review some of my works!
this is really going to my faves list!

aw how sad. it reminds me of my parents- lol. which is even more sad. i wish pain could go away!

Estoy muy triste. (I am very sad) ;_; The poem is very well written.

kinda sad in a way ...but great poem i really liked it!

I love this. It's so perfect, and so emotional. Great job!

Awsome! Ther are barely words to dscribe it!

Touching...Wonderful description..Awesome job!!

*sighs* That's my grandfather right there on the page. You've really hit it, this time. Great job.

Good Job! This is good. I really like the image it creates

nice poem. well written, i feel bad for the man. he musta had bad experiences in his lifetime. anyway, good job. keep on writing!

such strong imagery...

very good descriptions ^_^

p.s. ty for reviewing my poetry

That's such a dreary and bleak scene...I could picture an old man with creaking bones picking his way thru a snow covered forest trying to find shelter...anyways.

Wow. Great job in describing how he must feel.


~Heart of the Sword