Hrm, an interesting work. I linked to your story from FictionAlley if you are wondering, and there you asked for suggestions of what to work on. I don't know if you have changed it in your edit, but you introduce people and things in the same way. You mention a person, for example, and then you proceed to describe them. The same is true for the library. So I would suggest more variety. That just reminds me, in this version, your first three paragraphs all begin the same way. As for characters, your two main characters are virtually unknown. By that, I mean that their characters/personalities are unclear. I am not sure what would help, but you might want to try to make them more... vibrant. Raku actually seems to be... I don't know if more developed is quite the phrase I'm looking for, but it is close enough. I can see that you might want Nari to be a mystery, but you might want to reconsider Saichi, as he, at the moment, seems a little flat. If you want him to be a mystery too, then make characters like the emperor more developed at least. Also Nari seems a little too perfect.
Now for some good things: I liked the way you presented the children in the first chapter, with the question about names. I also liked the quirks you gave to (what appears to be) minor characters, like the shopkeeper who uses the abacus. You have an interesting story, and although it needs some work, it’s still imaginative and engaging. Good luck!

Hah! I actually didn't forget... I got on yesterday for the first time in months and checked to see if this was updated. Weird, eh?
But seeing as I haven't read the first three chapters for quite a bit, maybe I'm forgetting some things... did we meet that Raku person before? (this is just my own faulty memory, not your writing ^.^() )
Okay, an actual review... well, it was pretty darn good! That Nari actually got mad at Saichi was good for her character's general picture (that is, everyone has to get mad or something once in awhile or they get weird and restless and bored and stuff... heh...). Hmm... well, I'm curious to see what happens next!
(PS - Kodocha rocks! hehe...)

*blinks* I was mentioned! Anyway, yay for Nari's resourcefulness and haha at Saichi for not figuring her out.
*looks closely* what's the irony in the quill? *is curious*

*raises an eyebrow* This is very good. It's definitely something I'm interested in reading more of. Keep going!
~Lioness

HOw funny! Burn down the school. I adore the characters! Nari in perticular. Write more soon.
Rhi