Wow this was pretty good. :) I can sympathise with whoever feels like this poem describes, includin' you, Ares. Everybody wonders about life.

Anyway, I really didn't find anything that sounded odd to me. I've never reviewed a song for me so this was a new, and cool, experience for me. I'd think that this would be interesting put to music. :)

Okie dokie! You want songs reviewed, you get songs reviewed!
1.) "Now I look at, / Everything you had given to me. / And there I sat. / Searching for what I can not see..." -- Your verb tenses change back and forth here, and make it impossible to know if your persona is looking back at themselves in time (where they "sat") or looking at themself now ("can not see"). Pick one!
2.) "My mind; a toxic vat." -- The semicolon seems to strong here.
3.) "Not knowing if this was a joke." -- This has too many syllables, since it's paired with the 'spoke' and 'woke' lines. Work on your rhythm.
4.) Also, you probably want to put soem blank lines between stanzas/verses, to help out the reader. It's kind of hard to read as is.
5.) "A purpose I will understand." -- Also too many syllables. Maybe delete 'will', or alter it.
6.) I really like the ending stanza/verse. The rhythm to it is excellent and it rhymes well. Could you follow the same pattern once before, maybe? It might add more structure to the song. Then again, I suppose that depends what music you've got going to it in your head, too!
This is a little depressing for me, but it's a pretty good poem. Work on your rhythm, as I've said, and separate the verses and refrains.
Take care,
Ruatha

I can see why this one would be your favorite. They get better as I read them. Beautiful work.

I love the last two lines... very sweet poem/song in general tho.

oh, that was good. seemed like raw emotion. i'm horrible at conveying emotions so anyone that can...well, kudos.

~color outside the lines~

Wow...that's really good! I like poems and songs with a deep meaning...review mine or just check em out if u get a chance!

I must say, very nice. Out of the 2 or so years Ive known you, I hadnt read any serious work of yours. Im impressed. That last line really does stick in your head.

Also, Im sad to say Ive been through that too...good job relating to the feeling...

Love the final 2 lines.

I don't know, I think this was truly more of a poem than a song. It really did have a nice flow, it just didn't seem to pop out at me as overly musical. Anyway, great piece. Keep writing! ^^

This is a really gd song and u cud go far with ur writing, i used to be in a band, and i wrote the songs. this is really gr8 lol i really like it. keep going with it