I felt that there should have been some explanation of why the narrator didn't call the police when he heard Porris talking about the murder at school. Maybe you could say Porris threatened to kill him too or kill his family? Otherwise he seems like kind of a coward. If he is supposed to be a coward this should be made more clear. I'm only 13 and you can bet I'd tell my parents to call the police if a kid I knew was bragging about killing someone! Since he is still in high school he should tell his parents, at least if he is meant to be a likable character.

Other than that, the idea for this story was pretty good, but I caught a lot of grammar/spelling/punctuation mistakes. For example, the last sentence in the first paragraph is an awful run-on that should really be 3 sentences, and it's not the only one. In fact most of the sentences could be made shorter and/or more clear. A second draft plus an explanation for the narrator not telling on the killer could make this story really good!

Wow...that does sound real scary.

Nice story. Somewhat reminds me of my "A School Bloodbath of Hell" but this is much better. It was nicely written, and the ideas were not kept in. It also had a nice flow. A great story of yours.

The way you wrote I had a hard time understanding clearly. But what can you say about a non-fictional story? "It's a great story." doesn't sound right. It's hard for me to relate your feelings, but it's a nice story to share. Incase some post-murderer comes on here and reads your story, maybe they'll be driven away from the act. But who knows. Signed.

You have skill, no one can deny you that. Your story was a little different than my normal taste in stories, but the way you wrote it made it great. Your attention to detail is the best part, taking a single thought and disecting it. I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Hey-
Creepy, and can't believe that happened. Crazy world out there.
Whispers In Silence

This one here makes me wish I had had a similar, "real-life" incident to speak of. Well told!

I really like this. To bad you knew the guy. I don't know what else to really say. So...

Be seeing you. :)