Cool ending! I saw nice personification in this chapter too! (Did I spell that right? Oh well)

Mizuo led a tragic life. that's so sad. but Hiro is very interesting

It's good to describe a character, but not listing the physical appearances like you did in the beginning. You could've done: A man in his thirties watched a pool of water, reflecting back at him not his own reflection but the image of Hiro and Mizuo walking together as though it were a window. As he observed through his black hair that hung in front of his pale face, an evil smile cracked upon his lips.

This keeps readers kind of suspicious about a character because most people do judge by a person's outlook. Listing how they look will just. . .uh. . . put a little disinterest in the reader about that character.

Maybe you might want to add in a bit of Hiro's thoughts? You do? You don't? Okay now.

Instead of telling that Hiro's face was red, why don't you have Mizuo tell him that.

Anyway, great chapter and update soon!

Nice prequel so far, but I felt that you needed to add on to the market scene just a bit more *shrugs* it's okay though, nothing big. Great chapter and Update soon!