Reviews for old man - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: old man

Steppenwoelfin 2003-10-01 ch 1,	abuseA rather melancholic poem; and definitely a poem which goes to show that your poetry is NOT nonsense!
obsidian katana 2003-08-23 ch 1,	abusewonderful poem! deep, meaningful, good message and well written. i like this a lot. great job! keep on writing!
glitterjewele 2003-08-19 ch 1,	abusea heart-stopper. far from 'nonsense' if you ask me! :P actually i've experienced plenty of thoughts similar to the ones in this poem ~ especially around grandparents. true, they aren't homeless like this particular old man is (i think . . .), but the fact remains, yes? :P one of the things that really stood out for me in this piece was the way you formatted the first line of each stanza using repetition but not too much repetition ~ the "old man" in one, two and five, and the million/thousand concept to break it up and add variety. it worked extraordinarily well, i must say. a VERY well-written piece. favorite lines . . . hm . . . okay here goes: "do all your groceries fit in one bag?" (loved the potential symbolism in that), "your face/and your hidden heart" (awesome contrast), the entire 'million' stanza is brilliant, "not always treasured" (sigh so true) and the end, "to catch your falling/stars" (knocked me off my feet ~ really phenomenal conclusion there). ah yes, and before i forget, i want to apologize for taking so long to review this ~ i was out of town and just came back to ficpress tonight. :) great work! kudos!
Needa S 2003-08-16 ch 1,	abuseMeaningful... Splendid job! Keep writing..
BloodBrother 2003-08-15 ch 1,	abuseI must say, I loved this poem (and that doesn't happen very often.) One of the main reason is probably the format itself -- you drop down to the next line at all the right moments, especially the final stanza (falling_stars, very nice) but the poem itself was very emotional, very true. not capitalizing it added to the effect, too. Good job.
CoolBeans18s 2003-08-15 ch 1,	abuseThis was amazing! Very unique and meaningful! ~ CoolBeans18s
Day to Day 2003-08-14 ch 1,	abuseHow dare you say that this is nonsense? I like it! So there! Tee-hee. I got a really cool mental picture when reading this...old man in one of those red flannel shirts with the black checks, the grubby coat that never gets washed, and the eyes that say "what're you lookin' at?" The only complaint that I have is that the second line in the second stanza seems long...maybe you could cut it down to "did you think about others?" This poem was great. The way it was written in a conversational sort of way, and yet almost rhetorical, made me think. Now then...you must write more or I'll hunt you down and...and...well, it'll be gruesome and evil! More writey!
cosmo-queen 2003-08-14 ch 1,	abuseA very unique poem. This was very meaningful. Keep up the good work :) cosmo-queen
Lidless Eye 2003-08-12 ch 1,	abuseHad a really neat style and an innovative appeal to it. It's always refreshing to read poems like that... Well done! Keep on writing like this!
The Black Rider 2003-08-10 ch 1,	abuseA delightful and heart warming piece with a nice flow to it. Very whimsical.
Delilah 2003-08-09 ch 1,	abuseIt's interesting, and makes one wonder.

Return to Top