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| Raniphae 2006-03-16 ch 1, | abuse(Sorry - I have SO owed you a review for a long time!) This was going SO well at first, then you had to go and throw in that "Little does Kaylee know..." - I can tell from the rest that you can do better than that! I think the foreshadowing would be much more effective if you simply described the red-sailed ship in a way to suggest that it would come to profoundly affect Kaylee's life. The only other thing I would say is that when you're describing her friends' reactions, maybe start with the friends laughing out loud. It's a bit more logical, since that is the reaction that would come first, anyway - or at least be more noticable. But really, excellent start. ^.^ |
| Blah246 2006-01-26 ch 24, | abuseBah, writers block, seems like its been going around like the flu. This was a good short chapter, a nice set up for things to come, and it gives me somthing to look forward to in the future. update soon. |
| XxDragon Princess NikkixX 2006-01-25 ch 24, anon. | abuseThis is very very well written for having writers block my dearest! It's very good..I love where this is going. Definitly keep working on it!! Love ya *hugz* |
| XxDragon Princess NikkixX 2005-12-16 ch 23, anon. | abuseGah! I missed an update! Ahfdsiufh! Hehe, jk. Very good chapter. I really liked all the character work you put into this one. Really helps move the story along and create background. LOVE it. Good job! Love ya! *hugz* |
| Blah246 2005-11-14 ch 23, | abuseLolz, you brought them back, guess they weren't so minor after all. But the question is what will they're roles be and how long will they stay? And by them I mean Jake and Vires, lolz. Really good character development here with Aiston's background by the way, gave me a glimpse of how human he could be. And introducing Amber... very scandalous, lolz. Can't wait to see where that goes. As for the plot, alot of fore shadowing goin on, with the disappearances and the upping of the guard, etc. I can see Kaylee's journey escalating to the stuff of legends, update soon. |
| Blah246 2005-10-08 ch 22, | abuseMiyax seems like a cool guy in this chapter, He's sorta like a good bad guy, lolz. He strikes me as one of those that hate thier job, but is still good at it. nothing new to say on the progress of the plot expcept that it's going smoothly. (what can one say through only one chapter? lolz) Oh, and I found a few typos, but nothing to worry about, everyone has'em. lolz update soon |
| Xalga 2005-06-28 ch 2, | abuseIntersting story. I will have to say it is a little differnt in some ways. Well on a side note as well I have add stories so I will hopefully be reading yours and maybe youll look at mine sometime too. later |
| Abby Sequioa 2005-06-02 ch 1, | abusegood! interesting |
| XxDragon Princess NikkixX 2005-05-20 ch 22, | abuseWaho! An update! Hurrah! I definitly loved this update. The plot moved along quite nicely. Great job! |
| Abby Sequioa 2005-05-19 ch 2, | abusethis is very charming and exciting!! I am only finished with chapt.2 but i am going to read more asap! |
| Blah246 2005-05-12 ch 21, | abuseExcellent story thus far, its a shame you don't update that often. I also apologize for being lazy and not reviewing every chapter, but I have been reading. What I liked most about your story, and what has been bringing me back to it, is the dept of your characters. Each with their own personalities and own way of thinking, that's a big part of what alot of people look for in a good read. You especially took great care to define the personalities of Aiston and Kaylee. I could see a lil something something brewing between them, lol My favorite character so far is, believe it or not, a minor character, Jake. Well that's only because he's rude and called Reech a **, HAhaHA.I can also see a lil something something between him and Reech, "cool" lolz. I also love the world you've created, a world where both fantasy and technology are blended smoothly together, but so far it seems only the Crison have guns and Kaylee magic. Oh and the dragons! Gotta love them. Hmm... travelling the world just to deliver a message? Seems a bit much to be the center of a grand epic journey, unless there's somthing else in the mix... I mean anyone can deliver a message, just look at Elt. Maybe it's the Rayan bloodline they're trying to crush and not her journey to warn everyone, and whose to say there aren't any higher powers involved with bloodlines of their own? Very intriguing... Believe me when I say I'll be looking forward to what happens. So many ideas swimmin in my head to what might happen... c'mon, you can't leave me hangin like this, it's just cruel. |
| XxDragon Princess NikkixX 2005-04-11 ch 20, | abuseHeya! Of course I'm gonna stick with you, this story is lookin great! *hugz* I really love where this is going. You're doing a great job, as always. Sorry this is short and rushed, I have piles of homework that are calling my name. Oh dear. Love you tonz! Update soon! ~Nikki~ |
| XxDragon Princess NikkixX 2005-03-30 ch 19, | abuse*Jaw drops* An update? What is this? Hehe, I'm just playen with ya! This was great! I really enjoyed this chappie, as always. Love Kaylee..she's so...soo..I dunno what the word is...lol! Cool? Eh, whatever. Great update! As for next chapter, do what you want. I trust you! lol! Love ya! |
| XxDragon Princess NikkixX 2005-02-11 ch 18, anon. | abuseHey! Dun dun dun...very good chapter! I loved it mucho. The story is really hitting a high point now. You're doing awesome! Keep up the amazing work! ~Nikki~ |
| XxDragon Princess NikkixX 2005-02-08 ch 17, anon. | abuseOh! Yay! Sorry it took me so long to get around to reviewing. I have been dead busy lately, like always. Free time is a distant memory now days. Anyway, this was terrific! I love the way you are moving the plot, i love the characters, and i love the writing. Everything is coming along nicely! Keep it up hun. *hugz* ~Nikki~ |