wow, very powerful and romantic, a bit unfinished as it, but i forgot if you were going to add anything to it, so yea, but i love the imagery, wording and the way you put it...light, yet filled with this slow sadness about it, even at the happy parts of it, muchly enjoyed, awesome job

A little strange but it's really romantic and the description and imagery is amazing, i love the rainwater and lemon.

This is really fascinating! I look forward to some more!

It is kinda confusing with all the "her" and "she's"

Maybe you should have made it the point of view of the girl on the bed thinking about the other girl...It would have made it more easier to understand, I think

^^