this is heavy...

you have finesse. :) "Ellen was beauty. Father was adversity. I was just scared." I liked that.

if you're at all interested in doing so, and happen to have the time, you might flesh out the last couple of segments... they're not as particular as the rest of it- maybe that's what you wanted, I don't know. it isn't that they're not good, or even that they're lacking- they just seem to be written differently. a little. this concludes my quasi-criticism.

Undeniably chilling and a bit disturbing, but incredibly well written.
A few little grammar/spelling things... I'd advise a thorough proofreading, so tiny things like that don't interfere with the powerful message of this piece.
i love the "click" at the end... gave me shivers.

YOu know, you've slowly become one of my favorite writers on fictionpress. I love your writing style. It's dark and angsty. Not self-angst, but more or less a detailed social malaise that translates into angst.
The writing itself is superb, and the originality and the subject matter is mind-blowing. I don't mean that your the first to do something of this sort. I mean people like Chuck Palahniuk or Jean-Paul Sartre have written stuff like this before, but the conception of these ideas, and the arrangment is just unbelievable.
However, I do have one small piece of advice about the style involved.
THe paragraph where you talk about the burning of his house and the death of his father, can be and, in my opinion, SHOULD be broken up into at least two and maybe three paragraphs. Otherwise it's incredibly long and drawn out. I'd suggest you break for a new paragraph after "the subtitle was 'Kills Daughter'" then start a single one line paragraph for hte importance part and then break again for another paragraph. BUt that's just style change, and tit depends on you.
~
Tyger