this sounds like this one stupid story about this guy up here in the last frontier. it was definitly not nearly this great and magical. everytime, I'm left in awe of your way with words. you haven't changed and I hope you never do. I hope to hear more from this!!

O...awesome. Breathtaking indeed. Great great job. Keep it up, I can't wait to hear more!

Wow, that was awesome. I just can't get over what a great writer you are. Everything is just so perfect. I can't wait to read more of this wonderful work!

O, neat. I absolutely love everything about this. I'd go on, but I have to catch up and read the next chapter!

I loved the lines:

A scout with reverence, she proceeds to watch,
A terrestrial war underway tonight

Excellent choice of words, but then again, you always have had a tremendous vocabulary. Keep up the fantastic work.

the title alone for this one had me hooked. what a fantastic and unique subject to write about. and you handle it *so* well. this is probably my favorite piece of the collection thus far. it's amazing what you've done with the tone and the aura ~ i almost felt like the sentinel was watching ME, 'twas freaky (in a good way, lol). LOVED how you switched to the first person in the last line, it achieved a great effect. the darkness and shadow is incredible. it's much more simple (though not simplistic by any means) than your other pieces, in some respects, and it made for a nice contrast. wow i don't even know where to begin with the favorite lines this time . . . *sigh* here goes: "wishing for real seduction," "to markets and down the path," "whispers to no one/but himself," "don't even strike a movement," and "i'll release you at sunrise." that's probably way too many but i couldn't narrow it down any further. this is a fantastic piece of poetry. excellent work, kudos. :)

*FINALLY a break from the mad insanity that has been my life for the past week! i can finish reviewing the new chapters! YAY! :D*

okay, typos first: "entrance yourself" i think you meant to be "entrance you", and in context "leaves you naked" i think was supposed to be "leave you naked." that being said, i love this! it's fascinating. i mean it makes you think that this person is on the road to redemption, and then almost at the very line you hit "to the serpents that create your new dreams" and it just sends you reeling! a VERY cool effect. i do rather like the message, actually, dispiriting though it is, it definitely carries the ring of truth. great imagery throughout. my favorite lines from this one would have to be: "the incubus of yesterday will fade," "the water shall splash on your ailing soul," "to the serpents that create your new dreams," and "your newborn spirit is ready to fly." great work!

Awesome. Different style than the rest of these but it completely fits. I love the ending to. I'm really wondering where all this is leading to. I can't wait to read more!

O...amazing...that is an awesome description. You can just see in your mind this beautiful, cascading fountain pouring through you and cleansing you. Very awesome. Keep it up!

Awesome. Just awesome. For some reason "The incubus of yesterday will fade" stuck out the most. I just loved that line.


~Heart of the Sword

So great. I can see the whole scene happening.


~Heart of the Sword

This is turning out to be one great collection. Keep it going.


~Heart of the Sword

this is very good. right off the bat the title intrigued me. the language throughout is very lovely, somewhat ethereal, even. this is especially true in the latter stanzas of the piece, i think, which is a good thing because even when the philosophical trail is temporarily lost for a moment, the beauty of the language is there to carry one through until the path is found again. 'tis definitely one of your strong points, methinks. :) the first two stanzas seemed to be grounded in the senses a bit more than the last three, which made them especially effective, in my opinion. it was really easy to sympathize with the princess, and with the speaker's longing for her as well, as a matter of fact. i could envision it, which was very cool. my favorite lines from this are: "a life provoked by shackles of royalty" ('provoked'=great word choice), "to watch my soul melt within your clutches," "the strings of our lives may never entwine" (GREAT way to make a philosophical thought physical - it made the thought itself easier and more interesting to relate to), and "'our souls shall escape through sunset tonight'" was a fantastic final line, i pictured a really red and orange sunset when i read it. nice work, and sorry for the huge delay of the review! latin's been smothering me mercilessly :S. kudos

Very nice. Used some big words that I couldn't understand, though. *laughs* No, that's not true. You were very descriptive. Awesome imagery. Was it about Helen of Troy?

chochang913

such vivid imagery... incredible work!