I'm not sure why I've never read anything by you.. *slaps wrist* However, now I know what I was missing! You have such excellent skills in writing dialogue that it should require much envy from the people who read this.

This sounds good, and I am intrigued. (sp? I'm a horrid speller) The n's and m's before the names is a bit weird, and I don't know exactly how to pronounce it. I do think it would be great to keep writing, although it is all up to.

Did you really dream it up? mad weird, I dreamed up several of my strangest stories that way. :)

well, I would certainly like to hear more of this. It's very unique, as, i think, all your work is, and well-written. from the short bitty here the only critique i have is in the line “They capture children at 7 and 8 before they know the path of their parents or the path of war" to change the numerals to spelled out numbers...it looks more professional. I htought the dialogue flowed nicely in this, though.

More?

It's an interesting idea, and I definitely want more, if only to learn more about the fantasy world in which this story takes place. For example, why do they put the "n'" before their names? Why would a farmer have a war-trainer? Stuff like that. I like how you snuck Shlomo in, though. ^^ And of course, the plot you hint at seems very interesting. Please, write more to this! -Windsong

I think the idea has much potential if you go with it. It's definetly not cliche, which is always a good thing. The question of whether you should continue it or not should really depend on you. Do you want to? Do you like the story enough that you think you can spend the time and energy without getting sick of it later and abandoning it (as I've done quite a few times after starting something I had every notion of finishing). Story lengths end up determining themselves, too, for once I started a story thinking it would be about fifty pages, I've now written three in the series, one was never finished, and the other one is in the works, but you get my point. You've got a good concept going with this story idea, so run with it...if you want to.

i like the story so far! it has an interesting flavor to it! Please write more!