Reviews for Leben in Aufruhr: Life in Turmoil

Reviews For: Leben in Aufruhr: Life in Turmoil - Reviews: Page 1 of 3

roni 2006-06-03 ch 16, anon.	abusewow. good job. I was honestly crying when Anpher "died" - it really felt like... someone I'd grown incredibly close to, and developped an immense liking for had just... ceased to be. Ah, I'm so happy that it's a happy ending. does happy twirly dance ^^ ...I feel as though I'll never quite be able to push Lesern and Anpher out of my mind and heart. Wonderfully developped and what a journey you've crafted. Incredible job. Be sure to keep up the wonderful writing ! - roni
becxfok01 2006-01-15 ch 15,	abuseWhat a sweet story! Love what a strong character Lesern is. And even though I thought it was weird that Anpher is sort of her many-great grandfathers, you wrote the story so well that the 20 yrs gap convinced me that it's perfectly fine for them to be together. Thanks for this lovely story!
SKoW Awards 2006-01-14 ch 1, anon.	abuseHello!This is Linda from Some Kind of Wonderful Romance Awards. This message is to inform you that your story, Leben in Aufruhr: Life in Turmoil, has been nominated for the Best Fantasy/Sci-Fi award by an anonymous source. Keep up the fantastic work!Sincerely,LindaSKoW Romance Awardshttp://w.freewebs.com/skow
Indigo_Eyes 2005-10-22 ch 15, anon.	abuseWow! This is such a great story, I've had a good time reading it this morning(lol I've been glued to this screen nonstop for reading it). Your writing style is defintely one of the better ones I've seen on fictionpress, and the story was just awesome. Thanks for providing me (and others) with such great reading material! This story reminds me why I hang out on this site so often =) Keep up the story writing!
Xeronia 2005-08-27 ch 16,	abuseActually, I don't think you overdid anything. The last few chapters were long, but that's okay. Everything you put there contributed to the overall flow of the story. I actually saved the pages on my hard drive so I could read it offline. But after each section, the emotions I felt were, "Oh my god! What's going to happen? Are they going to die?" and many others just like that. In other words, I love your plot line. Another thing you did well on was Lesern's growth from child to woman as shown when she becomes queen. I love how she and Anpher's relationship isn't cliche or normal. And the deja vu is pretty creative. The ethorian sentence (the chain that binds two lives) seems like Spanish, or something because I figured that out right away from all the Latin roots. Maybe you should make up your own language. Constructive critism...there are spelling and grammer errors throughout. When you have time, you should go edit them out. There are also many times in the story when something seems unclear. This is a very common error and the reason why professional authors have editors. The author knows that he/she is talking about, but the reader doesn't. The way to fix this is to have someone else look at it, or wait a while and read your story later. Good job!
Xeronia 2005-08-25 ch 2,	abuseAnother great chapter. I love how Lesern isn't "Mary Sue." She's flawed and has the characteristics of a typical adolescent.
Xeronia 2005-08-16 ch 1,	abuseSounds like a romance/action/adventure. The writing is very good and descriptive. I can forsee from the prologue that Lesern is going to change from a princess-tomboy to a brave, selfless warrior.
jam 2005-06-19 ch 15, anon.	abusegrinz I've decided to not kill you...YAY! Anpher didn't die...yay yay yay... Loved the ending...it was like the ending of hawksong...very bittersweet, very touching...Oh gosh... Haha...thankew thankew thankew for not killing Anpher! =D you rock...haha. cookies and icecream =) Gosh...I still can't get over the epi...it's so so so so so sweet...and Anpher's an idiot. AS USUAL. -.- Haha...BUT you really outdid yourself this time...it was so sad...very very touching...I nearly started crying at the start of this chap. Seriously. Oh mannz...I'm glad that you didn't make him die. YAY~! and Jacen woke. I liked him alot in the first few chappies...the brother figure type of thing...hahax...i just have a thing for those brotherly characters...and it was so sweet when he was supporting her throughout the times after Anpher "died"... But I'm serious...this is fantastic. I'm completely...awed...amazed by this chapter...I love all the emotions injected into it...it's so sad/sweet/bittersweet/touching/you-fill-it-yourself... GREAT JOB, GURL! looking forward to reading your other future stories! =) you're an awesome writer, I'm serious =)
jam 2005-06-19 ch 14, anon.	abuseSorry for the late review...and I know you're prepared to kill me now... =( Haha...anyway, back to the chappie. Gosh...holds up sledgehammer how can you kill Anpher?!?! Mannz...the ending was so sad. Seriously. I was about to start crying...especially at the part where he faded off... Oh yeah, kudos to this line...one of my all time fave quotes now... "Leben in aufruhr, a life in turmoil finally spiralling towards a peaceful new chapter and yet, the turmoil within her own heart did not cease." Very bittersweet...but the way he died was quite cool...and sad, of course... =( but it was quite refreshing to read about the fading off part...to represent him dying...instead of the usual "he gasped, eyes rolling skywards, breathing his last, his grip loosened" kind of thing... But at least they faced up to their feelings...although it sucked that one has to die in order for them to realise it. grumbles I hate it when characters die...but if you think that's an effective way to convey out the relationship part of the story...I guess so...if I'm even making sense. =S Oh well...great job nonetheless...the descriptions are getting better and better, and as usual...the language is awesome. =) But Anpher still rocks...he's so sweet =D Oh yeah, another thing...you're evil...seriously. You nearly gave me a few heart attacks... (eg: “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes seeking Anpher’s face for the last time as the menacing blade come down like it did so many times before.) I seriously thought Lesern was going to die. THEN you made Anpher die, and I started jumping around like a maniac again... Haha...Anpher's an idiot...it's a huge pity you killed him, you dolt. waves sledgehammer curse I'll go on to read the next chappie anyway, and kill you later... =S
Jophiel 2005-06-16 ch 3, anon.	abuseOkay... '"Theta swap!" the yells came from both sides' Nice. This sounds like real, battle dialogue. Lesern's words after killing the stray soldier seemed...unnatural. I just felt she would have gone slaying more soldiers instead of wasting time like that. The appearance of the red-bladed villain was...flat. As in, I-wouldn't-have-noticed-it-if-I-hadn't-been-reading-carefully-flat. I think you could have emphasized on him instead of Jacen. The fact that Lesern and Anpher's still playing 'that' game disturbs me a bit. Aren't they nervous or something? It's a large-scale assault, if I recall. Then again, they're professionals. Meh.
Moonvoice 2005-06-14 ch 3,	abuseThis was a fantastic chapter, extremely thrilling, exciting and completely suspenseful. I'm at an utter loss for words to describe how much I loved it.A few minor things to point out, though:"Though the tactic wouldn’t be strongly encouraged" - I personally think "wasn't strongly encouraged" might be a bit better. "The Roounes wasted no time to take advantage of their little accomplishment" - how about "the roounes wasted no time, immediately taking..." or "the roounes immediately took advantage..."? "She looked up at the battlefield and noted in content" - "noted with content" perhaps? "She flicked the blood off her blade as an after thought." - It's "afterthought". "She expected to be dead." - I personally think "She expected to die" might be better. I love how you develop each of the characters' personalities. Anpher and Jacen are both extremely interesting, and to this point, they seem to have slightly contrasting personalities as well. It's interesting how the relationships between the two of them and Lesern are developing as well - is it just me, or are you going to develop a love triangle of some sort?I love your humor in this as well. The "Point." idea is extremely amusing, and it really highlights the relationship between Anpher and Lesern. I love your expression of "fodder" as well. ^^ It reminds me of Gundam SEED and the Angaraks in the Belgariad.Excellent job!
sandra 2005-06-13 ch 15, anon.	abuseaw... the very very last part was so swet! hahaha... n i dont feel like killin oready... Anpher didnt die! whoohoo! okiz... he may be an idiot bt his great! (does tt make sense?)n oh.. jacen finally woke up huh... u noe what? somehow the ending reminds me of hawksong! =) (is suern gonna go crazy when she sees this?) haha all i havta say is tt this chap was a wonderful ending for ur story! keep up the good work! (n when is the next story coming up?? haha jk.. no hurry!!)
sandra 2005-06-13 ch 14, anon.	abuseokiz i m finally back! read blog to find out where i went!! haha... honestly ah... when i read the last part of this chap rite... i wanted to strangle you! or mayb chase you with a sledgehammer! either one would be good enough...=) haha... anywayz... the development in this chap itself was really good... sorta like slowly bringing it to the climax n stuff... n once again the characters and their thoughts and action n speech... everything about the characters was written well! i especially liked this part... “Since when did you become monosyllabic?” she asked, her voice heavy with sarcasm. “‘Maybe’ isn’t a monosyllabic word,” came his sly reply with that same tinkle of mischievousness in his eyes which he always had when he was teasing her. n once again... Anpher is an idiot... argh...
anna h. 2005-06-13 ch 7, anon.	abuseHey serana.Wow. That guy has real denial issues. I mean, seriously. If that guy were real, I would label him a horrible stuffy, but very cute guy. sigh. Still loving the script though!
anna h. 2005-06-13 ch 4, anon.	abuseHey serana,I've kept reading. It's really good! Theres only one problem--i keep having to pause cause i'm reading for too long!:P I guess that's a good thing. So those two guys are twins, huh? Oh well, aint that a shame-two brothers who turned on each other. it's really gripping :P

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