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| sairenmizuko 2005-04-18 ch 4, | abuseHi, VN! Um, so far I'm reading this to understand your characters better. No offense, but you shouldn't use the word ** too often. it has other connotations, even if you meant it as he cried out. other than that, it's interesting. |
| holyorder 2005-04-17 ch 10, | abusehi again... just complete chapter 6 - 10. as always, great writing skills, and good job on describing individuals attributes (garments, expressions, etc). but, i think the dialogs between characters have rooms some improvements. Need more chemistry more, I guess... im curious why they became targets on the random appearing bad guys. might be their weapons that attracted them? guess I will find soon enough... ..and that kelly brat, her 2nd debut in Glatti was a little bit... off?(sorry, dont know what word should I insert here). Its like... what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here no-more-words en-garde! keep up doing this good work, okay. I enjoyed reading it. |
| butterfly^kiss 2005-04-16 ch 17, | abusenice chapter... i thought i saw a hint of raphul's history coming up, and i was right! am i a genius or what? haha... anyway, good job with this chap. i thought it's cool how u know how to decribe fighting scene. i suck at that. :( |
| holyorder 2005-04-15 ch 1, | abusehi vulpine , this is sol_badguy from pergh.com... firstly, i wanna congratulate you for writing this novel. for your age, thats something worth mentioning. well, I read up to chapter 5, and while i think this story is well written, I cant help but to think this is some type of hack and slash rpg story. it doesnt neccesarily bad, but for non gamers or non rpg lovers might might tend to put off with the flow of the story. overall, i think you have an exceptional writing skills, and you can convey any given situation (dramatic, etc) quite well. give yourself sometimes to polish your madz skillz, and you guaranteed your place in the heart of people like me :D... and.. I would like more spoken accents in this story please... I love accent :D |
| TearsOfSilver 2005-03-13 ch 1, | abuseWOW, you have completed SOO many chapters, this is going to take forever for me to read, but I'll try. Thanks for your comments on my Silver Tears. Sorry it takes so long to write another chapter for me. Anyways, I'll try reading, so far it sounds really creative! :-D. Take Care. |
| skYe 2005-03-11 ch 1, anon. | abuseWow... the story is so nice~~ It reminds me of Suikoden IV... ^__^ Good work!! I'm looking forward to the next chapter...!! |
| butterfly^kiss 2005-01-20 ch 16, | abuseah... finally. another update :Ppoor mayyin... i think i finally realised she's just like lillin in GS. and raphul is so bossy. not a bad chapter... keep updating. i hope there will be a lot of action in the next chap |
| butterfly^kiss 2004-12-03 ch 15, | abusehey... that was fast. good chap, but i notice your weather is spell wrongly, or is that really whether? |
| butterfly^kiss 2004-12-02 ch 14, | abusehey! i'm not saying your fighting is lame. it's just that, well... maybe i read to much DS. i like mayyin. i think she's cute. keep updating... |
| butterfly^kiss 2004-11-29 ch 12, | abusehey... this chapter is not bad. the description for the fighting scene is not very good, but it's not bad either. keep updating... |
| B|ue^moon 2004-11-12 ch 9, anon. | abuseinteresting... |
| HomeFry 2004-04-15 ch 2, anon. | abusehi! man, it's been a while since i've come back, huh? sorry about that, i've been busy. anyway, this was a good chapter, and, as i mentioned in my LAST review (which was how long ago? man am i behind!) i LOVE pirates. a couple corrections for you, tho. you're missing a couple punctuation marks after dialogue and the comma and period goes inside the quotation marks when someone is done speaking, & u don't need to capitalize the next word unless it's a name or a period after dialogue. that's all i really saw that needs to be fixed. ~you reviewed ColorCrayons "In Danger's Path" and "Dragon's Scale". we tend to recycle characters and places to use in other stories~ |
| HomeFry 2004-01-29 ch 1, anon. | abusegood start for a first chapter, but i might suggest reading it over carefully a few times to make sure there aren't many mistakes and errors. i love pirates, so i think the next chapter should really catch my interest as well as the first one has. ~thanx for the reviews. and the poem Beautiful is about me~ |
| ColorCrayons 2004-01-10 ch 1, anon. | abusefirst off, i'd like to thank u for reviewing HomeFry and I. i dont know how long it will take her to review you back, but i'll tell her asap. also, we will not be updating for a while seeing as both of us are behind in school, but as soon as we are able we will. this didnt suck as u suggested it might in ur AN. it was interesting. a few grammar errors, but we all have them, ya know? good, good. i will try and continue it at a later date; however, i just spent 4 hours reading a book for school i was behind on so my butt really hurts...as do my eyes. as mentioned, i will continue reading later. good job so far, tho ~color outside the lines~ |
| ColorCrayons 2003-11-07 ch 4, | abuseare we gonna meet the antagonist soon? or have we already met 'im? another good chapter, very interesting. it would have been fun to see the arguement about "pretty girls" be elaborated a bit more and have the anger come in a bit later in it. again, some punct mistakes with the dialogue, but that was about it ~color outside the lines~ |