I liked this one. My favorite character is still Ace. I think it's cute how you still have Ace acting liek a domestic house cat yet she's a huge cheetah. lol. though i think you mgiht wanna re-read for errors. "A large room for two and you biggest stable." I am thinking the you should be "your"

Alright..this one was alright..but idk, it might only be me, but what's a sprite? That kinda confused me. Though i guess if I read more stories i would know. But I think the Sprite could have put up a bigger fight against taking Sarah in unless you are saying the necklace changes people, which I don't think you are going for. But i would suggest making Aries put up more of a fight

hey sar...happy??...lol..okay so I liked this one i think the way you described Virgo was very cool. He's like this giant dragonn yet he's scared of a tiny cat...well tiny considering he's a dragon. I like the way youmade him funny yet scary.

your use of imagery and other tecniques is amazing in some parts such as, "The gate opened and the crew cautiously entered. Inside the towering walls was a beautiful village with close, colorful, semi-lopsided houses and shops, like the ones you would see in videogames, but at the same time it had the dreary gray of the medieval times" i htought that was probably the best paragraph in the story. There was a part or two that seemed a little bit fuzzy, such as the part with teh smoke bomb flying through the air. I got the impression that it wa sjust some random smoke bomb that decided to randomly come through the air. but i thought it was very good and well written overall.

Hey Sar...I liked this chapter...I remember reading it before but i forgot if you changed anything. I really liked your descriptions. Ace def. sounds cool (she grew a lot to become a cheetah). I like how you described the pendant. Your character also has a nice description though maybe you could go more into her face. Like what color eyes she has and what color skin or something.
That's really all I have to say for now. Hopefully I will get a chance to read the rest of your stuff.

I agree with Jayson. You aren't as cute and sweet anymore. But on a less personal level, the jealousy and competition between the boys is a great addition. (i can't decide which i like better, lol)I also like the cliffhanger ending, but it looks like you didn't finish that last sentance. And the title doesn't really make sense... maybe if you finished/ continued?

An impressive plan and executed to perfection, but poor Jayson is getting very upset. Leo's future plans add another dimension to the story, also very nice. i applaud your structure in the storyline, but i think some details could be expanded to make the whole thing clearer.

Interesting and fashion concious. Good imagery and annoyance is pretty obvious in Sara's character. (and i think the shop name is cute!)

i like this chapter! We have plenty of action, the characters are getting personalities, and we're getting a side-plot! A very eventful bit, lol.
and i like this Leo guy, though he is a bit.. umm... cocky, hard headed,? (well i know what i mean)

ok, I read my own reviews. I have realized that i talk a lot. To bad for you i like to talk!
This chapter was more of a filler than anything else, but for that it was pretty good. The Mamelf thing is kinda confusing though, might want to elaborate there.

O! the plot thickens! We find an actual point to your travels. And another non-Celestial companion! what else could be in store? (dun dun dun!) But where does Vesta play into all of this? obviously important but the reason isn't clear... more plot? Oy Vay, this is getting complicated. Good! On that note, we Quakers don't know what a "swallow" is. Care to explain?
That's an example of little details but in general your writing style is maturing a lot. In the beginning it was a bit choppy but it's rounding out.
(side-note: Don't make fun of Larissa! Bubble heads are funny!)

Again, I compliment your descriptive abilities. Short and effective is a hard combination. But I still want pictures, I like pictures. you may want to describe the "psiwolf" thing a bit more. I get the idea it's special but it could be much clearer. And i am definately peicking up foreshadowing! Along with that your characters are begining to really develop here. You don't seem quite so (pardon the expression) dim witted anymore. Still overly trusting but not totally clueless. Good for you!

Yeah, that sort of arrival would be rather "supriseing." Oh, and is a "custom outfit designer" like a tailor? I like this, your story is developing a bit. Am i seeing a bit of foreshadowing? O, we shall have to keep going...

Short and sweet. maybe a little to short. Be careful, getting straight to the piont isn't always the best approach. Maybe some witty dialogue? idk...

and Ch. 2, chugging along...
Quick suggestion? In the beginning, start with just the Dragon in the clearing hearing crunching. Don't say straight out that it's (umm... you?Sara?) coming. It's ...idk... it could help raise interest/ curiosity. OK, now how bout some questions. Did all the niches fill or just the Virgo one? And why should you trust the Dragon? sweet as (she? named after Virgo i would kinda hope it's a female, lol) is, she has big teeth and you have no knowledge about this place...naivity maybe? It's not really important just kinda wondered. Oh, and i'm getting a zodiac vibe here, lol.