aw, this was really sweet, and packed a lot of emotion for such a short story. and the ending line was fantastic. very nice :)

i really like this. i had all these vivid images in my mind when i read it. the whole thing had this light mood to it, even though the lovely boy is like "go to hell" the entire time.

it's funny, how some of the long, epic chapter stories on here are crap, then the little things like this are ten times better.

makes me smile.

Wow... -sniff- That was... Beatutiful.
No, honestly. You conveyed emotions quite well in this one. However, I think readers might find it less confusing if you used qoutes(") or apostrophes(') like me to define speech, rather than a dash.

Once again,I commend you on a job well done. Your writing style is something to be envied. as well as the situations and characters you come up with. I love how this story is pretty much one scene between two people, but somehow you manage to put so much feeling into it.
Good luck with your future writing!

OOh I like it!! It's wonderful!But then again, everything you write is fab so i bet you're getting tired of me reviewing the same thing for everything you write hey? Lol oh well can't help it! I like the last three lines. perfect

impressive writing, good detail, but I'm not sure I can agree with considering the rain dreary, it seems like everything is so much more alive when it's raining.

very well written. the whole short story seemed to echo with a slight scent of FLCL... which I can't complain cause I am partial to such plots and characters.. btw -- i like how you incorporated your personal turn-ons in a guy and modeled the boy after them. very cute.