FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Werecat99 2003-09-21 ch 2,  | abuseOK, now I definitely want to know more. |
| Werecat99 2003-09-21 ch 1, | abuseI love your character already. Perhaps he's a little bully, but an appealing bully anyway. |
| Mystic Kiwi 2003-09-16 ch 2, | abuseVery good. you are going to write more right? you're not going to pull a Kiwi and not update for months at a time are you, because that's annoying (hehe). keep writing! |
| I am Gone 2003-09-16 ch 2, | abuseThis was rather intersting. I really like what you have so far please up date soon. |
| warnthepenguins 2003-09-15 ch 2, | abuse*nod nod* Nice, nice. But I do hope you're going to bring back the first-person you had going in the Prologue; I think your voice really showed there. Good stuff, but there'd better be some action coming soon! (I'm feeling impatient right now.) Oh yeah, a few minor spelling things, other than that, it's all good. And thanks so much for reviewing my story! |
| Walter Dash 2003-09-15 ch 2, | abuseThis looks quite intresting I hope you'll continue |
| Dagny Royce 2003-09-15 ch 1, | abuseThis is a great, intriguing introduction and, from what little there is written, it reminds me of Carol Berg, one of my favorites. I hope you contiue this, I'd like to find out more. |
| warnthepenguins 2003-09-15 ch 1, | abuseExcellent! Really well-written, with good POV! The voice is very consistent, kind of storytelling without being over-the-top, just right for your narrator. Excellent indeed. My only issue is the Tradesman, Guardian, etc. sentence sounds almost like you're listing Dungeons and Dragons classes. It messes with the mood a little; breaks up the flow. You've obviously got a good plot coming. I'm looking forward to it! |