hm...

Yes, this is good.

I've never seen, nor contemplated a poem with this subject matter. Or metaphor... There are some cool lines in this..Odd lines..."Closelined across the words...and soul hung out to catch the color. I really liked this poem.

This is really good. I love the way it seems to gush, partly due to the way you've broken down the line sin mid-sentence and partly because of the general lack of punctuation.

'... I lay out my heart on a string ...'

'... and soul hung out to catch the colour if only it would fall down to where I wait ...'

I also liked the unusual text theme ... the colours of it, the lines, the font type. Beautiful poem.