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Reviews For: The Edge of the Storm - Reviews: Page 1 of 8
firemounrain 2009-01-01 . chapter 1
I like your use of italics, but it seems to me that you're missing some commas, especially in speech.

Eek, Roswell.
freedman121 2005-08-20 . chapter 23
Ah I thought this was going to be more of an epilogue. Well, I just wanted to say that even if there are a few plot holes here and there, this was written wonderfully. Unfortunetly, I have not been reading/reviewing consistently enough to really understand this--but that is my fault alone. But whatever; I want to read The Shadow of Aiua!
freedman121 2005-08-20 . chapter 22
That really is amazing. Seriously. A great ending.

And now I'm going to read the epilogue. Afterword. Whatever you want to call it.
freedman121 2005-06-02 . chapter 21
Very nice explanation. It explained a lot and made sense above all.

However, I didn't understand the whole thing between Amara and Michael--it was unclear when this happened, if it was a dream, what. I was confused to say the least.

I wonder if the leaders believe him or not...
freedman121 2005-05-18 . chapter 20
This chapter confused me.

However, it could be because I'm not reading the chapters as close together as I should be, so I suppose it is mostly my fault.

I wonder what is exactly that they are doing.
freedman121 2005-04-30 . chapter 19
So THAT's how the "then" and "now" connect.

Strange isn't it, that Pavel and Jessica both feel that they want to die...
freedman121 2005-02-27 . chapter 18
I'm back. Hallelujah.

Cant is supposed to be spelled can't. Also, I think you messed up a few of the local times. I'm not sure what time they should be, but some of them didn't seem right.
freedman121 2005-01-01 . chapter 17
This chapter was really good. I have two questions: Do we know Melissa from the "future" chapters? and Why are the dates so far ahead of what they used to be?
freedman121 2004-12-29 . chapter 16
This was a very good, powerful chapter. Especially Jessica's comment on being the president who started World War I.

"You know this cant be settled through dialogue- it’s the only option we have." cant should be can't.

"I can promise our allegiance till the end," till should be 'till.

"Of course she wont- she never does." wont should be won't.

“I hate more than you can imagine, but I have to accept it.” should be "hate it more" rather than "hate more".

What I really want to know, is how the Then chapters have anything to do with the others! They seem completely unconnected to me. hm...
freedman121 2004-11-24 . chapter 15
No mistakes found in this one, and sorry about the really long time between reviews.

Freedman
freedman121 2004-11-14 . chapter 14
There was something in this chapter that didn't seem quite right, but I'm not really sure what.
freedman121 2004-08-27 . chapter 13
Sorry I haven't reviewed for so long. I've been at camp and therea ren't any computers there that I could use.
What was their mission? Did you say it in the chapter? If so, I didn't catch it. I think it's really cool that Archie was able to connect with the "aliens".
There was only one mistake that I found. This was that you spelled clothes, cloths. Maybe you meant to do that? I'm not sure, but I'm telling you, just in case.
Freedman
freedman121 2004-06-28 . chapter 12
"Soon, two old, but large pickup trucks were pulling he gate by chains,..." he should be the
"'They wont listen to me.'" I'm pretty sure that wont should be won't, but I'm not positive...
"Two of the four, armed men got into the van ..." I don't think that the comma is very useful in that sentence.
I would say "Go Vance!" but I'm not completely sure that what he is doing, with the whole Republic of California is a good idea. I really like the idea of it though--it's really new, and interesting. It's something I've thought about since second grade when we learned about the pilgrims (the starting of new country's).
I'm still confused at how the before and after things have anything to do with each other, and how the things going on in other places (India, Pakistan...) has anything to do with what's happening in America. I understand that it's world politics and stuff, but still.
Well, I guess I'd better wait and find out. I may read chapter 13 today too, but I'm not sure.
Freedman
freedman121 2004-06-23 . chapter 11
Okay, I had a couple things that needed to be changed, and I typed them up (I review/edit while reading) and then somehow they got lost. So, sorry about that.
I feel like the chapters are getting shorter. Also, how does the future part of this story connect with the past part? *ponders*
*shrugs* I give up.
--Freedman
freedman121 2004-06-22 . chapter 10
" nor did he have any desire to recall." should have an "it" at the end I believe. [Second paragraph from the top]
Also, in the second filed report, the first paragraph wasn't italisized. I think it was meant to be.
"but his calm made Hammond nervous." His calm what? Exterior? Expression? Posture? Also, that would be Archie right? That 'took care of him'?
Good chapter.
Freedman
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