Reviews for Household Haiku - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Household Haiku

jussanothergull 2004-12-17 ch 10,	abuseI haven't written many haikus myself, so perhaps I'm not the right person to tell, but I don't follow anything else than the 5-7-5 rule either...As for you haikus, I was to lazy to write a seperate review for each of them, so here is what I think of them :Washing Machine : The form was good, but I wasn't too interested by the theme.Newscast Time was good, I know what feeling you are talking about.Almost Empty Park made me feel all happy, I really liked it.Bonnie : this one made me smile, somehow it gives a good image of you dog in a few words.Dad was really great. You use an image to describe a feeling, and at the same time it gives an idea of your relationship with your dad. I think it's the best haiku in this collection.I can't relate to mom, so it's hard for me to judge it.My sister : I just loved this one.Headache : a good haiku too.Kitchen Sink : just a formal note : you forgot to write the title. Otherwise, I really liked this one because I saw a metaphor for life in it.Conclusion : keep writing, they get better and better and I think you've got a lot of potential.
Manuel Fajar 2004-09-16 ch 1,	abuseThis linked set of haikus, or as I believe the Japanese would call them, renga, is wonderful. The two that hit me hardest were mom and dad. I suppose due to existential questions of being a dad myself, and wondering why mom would want to stop looking young—and wondering if dad's hum is happiness. ¿Is it tedium? -m-
heh 2003-12-19 ch 8, anon.	abuseMy moods change? ::cries:: I dun wanna be different...No one understands me... Ah wellz! Love Bc
... 2003-12-19 ch 6, anon.	abuseo.o I nearly cried... Sometimes I wonder... ::sigh:: is he really happy? ::doesn't want to think about it anymore::
kbugger 2003-12-19 ch 5, anon.	abuseHey! ^_^ Bonnie! ::Huggles:: I love bonnie! Yay! Oh, and she's 12 years old- labrador/boxer mix, black and white colouring, Cummon Cicile, gotta give the folks details! love sisser
Wasted Postage 2003-09-30 ch 9,	abuseOne tiny little suggestion, you don't need to feel like punctuation is necessary. Really haikus require none. But other than that, this was an excellent haiku as well. It perfectly described the agony of a headache. Great work, and do keep writing these! ~*~AbunaiChikara
Wasted Postage 2003-09-30 ch 8,	abuseExcellence again! I never really thought to write about my family... Anyway, you seem to have grasped the concept of haikus beautifully. ~*~AbunaiChikara
Wasted Postage 2003-09-30 ch 7,	abuseMore Fantastic work! You really should continue to write these, they are excellent! ~*~AbuaniChikara
Wasted Postage 2003-09-30 ch 6,	abuseExcellent again. I hope that my reviews aren't getting repetative. That would be very annoying. Hmm...what can I say differently. You did a STUPENDOUS job! There, that is different. I've never written a haiku about my dad... ~*~AbunaiChikara
Wasted Postage 2003-09-30 ch 5,	abuseAnother wonderfully written haiku. I commend you for trying to write something you had little or no experience in, that's more than you could say for me. I only write haikus and hate it when I have to write anything else. ~*~AbunaiChikara
Wasted Postage 2003-09-30 ch 4,	abuseThis was a cute haiku. I liked it. You are doing an excellent job and I honestly can't think of any way in which you need to improve. Great work! And please do write more of these. ~*~AbunaiChikara
Wasted Postage 2003-09-30 ch 3,	abusesmiles I found this one rather amusing. You did an excellent job! Believe it or not you are rather good at writing haikus. You have no need to worry. ~*~AbunaiChikara
Wasted Postage 2003-09-30 ch 2,	abuseYou know, for having little or no experience, this is wonderful! I don't follow any other haiku rules besides that 5-7-5 thing either, so who knows. I think you are doing fine, but don't be shy about your work. I for one don't like to be critical of what you are trying to create. Excellent work! ~*~AbunaiChikara

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