that was excellent, minus the few punctuation and grammar mistakes. it seems very genuine.

ooh I like it! I like the whole "it's my fault" kinda thing. one idea (just an idea!) is to maybe have two overlapping rides: the ride which you described, and a ride from former happy life. The ending felt just a bit...essayized (I do this a lot; its the only reason I noticed) like, here's my essay gotta have an ending. otherwise, I liked.
~Kiara

Oh, that was kinda sad. This was a great story. It's very realistic and heartfelt. It's a shame that a part of us dies when someone we care about is not longer the same. You're a talented writer to be able to express this feeling so vividly.

Would you consider reading at least one chapter of my story 'Unravel'? I'd like to hear what you think of it.