I like it. It makes me think of stagefright stifling creativity for the time being. Such an unfortunate thing to happen. I can't put my finger on in- but there is something about this poem which I like.

Yeah, reciting poems is difficult. I tried it once as an undergrad and then decided never to do it again. I love the line "The windows of a hundred ears open."
-byrdgirl

WOW you're like the king of metaphors... you use such brilliant and beautiful ones which just results in further heightening the excellence of the poem *sigh* well I guess we can't all be masters at metaphors but aw it's just such a beautiful poem... well I can really see where my stuff is lacking in the metaphor department... well I guess the only way for someone to improve their talent is to look at a geniusy person that does the same thing... heh you're my metaphor idol now ^_^

another awsome poem. oh and the reason i switch from third person to first and stuff is because it's easier to tell the story from the main character's point of view in someplaces. sorry i didn't point it out.

OMG! Wow, the metaphors are fantasic! This is the type of poem I look up to. WOW!
~Sword in the storm

You're a genius.