Rating: 9
Stars: 4 1/2
From: NEPHTHYS
Comments: Amazing job, I think you should separate the part after the teenagers, where it starts at...
"A cafe' across the street..."
Make that a new paragraph.

You have captured peoples' lives well, especially the teenage lovebirds. I am sure there was much more material in your mind, but QCS's word limit killed my story short, too.

wow. first of all, yes, wow.
i love your story. it's very insightful. this also has the potential to be turned into a novel or short story, focusing on this Kayel.
also: "cat a spell" just a typo. cast.
*until
at the top, sadness'... either sadnesses (pl) or change it to sorrows. sadness' implies a possesive of sadness, as if sadness owns something.

Very nice, I bet you got a good grade for this. Interesting twist at the end, too - I wouldn't have figured it was something like that if I hadn't read the summary.