wow...i cant tell you any constructive criticism because it's that good! i love the imagery and the darkness in this poem!

The meter got a little bit choppy at times, and rhyming "torn" and "yours" seemed a little questionable. Overall this was guite a darkly beautiful poem, with some very unique imagery.

Your meter seemed nice to me except the last line which could be remedied by eleminating 'that.' Excellent work.

Very good! it was kinda creepy...in a way... i like the beat, thats what made it sound vaguely creepy. ^_^ I like creepy! Keep up the god work mellonamin!

Huggles
Moonlit Evanescence

This is really great! I love all of the emotion put behind it. However, I am very sorry you had to go through this. I can empathize a thousand times over.

I liked it alot.

::hugs::

That was one of the most creative poems I have ever read. Very sad towards the end though.

Keep writing.

-Seras

-claps- I think its WONDERFUL! It really does have a wicked meaning, and I think the meter is right on ^.~

I don't know much to say about this poem exept that I really like it. You did a really good job and I hope to read your other poems. Bye for now

I really like your metaphor here - this is the first poem I have seen on this site with someone comparing themselves to a "paper doll". Very nice. ^^

I am not very good at keeping meter myself, so I am not sure what you could do there, in that regard. I guess my suggestion to you would be to write down the syllable count and find words that make it fit without sacraficing meaning (this is what I have to do...because I suck :P).

Anyway, I throughly enjoyed your poem, and I am going to put it on my favorite's list. Please keep writing.

~Namir Swiftpaw