Wow, its very good and deep song. Thought-Provoking as well. I wish I could hear it as a song. You are a great writer!

There are some fantastic lines & imagery in there. It has a good flow overall, but I wasn't keen on how much you used the word 'here' - I dunno.. it just seemed to make it lose it's fluency a little & got a bit tiresome towards the end... But then it could work really well when put to music. It's hard to try & critique lyrics when you don't know the music the writer had in mind...

Sorry, just rambling now...