Very neat. I actually really like how the look at each character is only minimal, with the focus on the cloth and its effects rather than on the people themselves. It's an interesting take and I can't wait for more! Favoriting :3

A really interesting and good idea for a story, I can't wait to see it really take off. I especially like how you made it feel like a legend or tale, rather than just spitting out the story. Good job.

Thanks for reviewing, but I don't think I've ever seen a book where the character's thoughts were in quotation marks. I usually have my character's thoughts in italics, but since the program I upload from doesn't allow that, I do the FP.com thing to do, which are asterisks. By the way, thanks again for the deep review, after reading it, I noticed just how many repetitive words I do have. I'll have to clean that up. Anyway, a great idea so keep it up!

Aw. I like the hopeful feel of this story/chapter.

wow this story sure has gotten all my attention!
the story is interesting and i would really like to find out wats going to happen to the begger!!

hope you post more up soon!

This sounds like it could be a really cool story. The characters could use a little bit more development, but the concept behind the story is wonderful. I really hope you continue this.

Keep up the good work.

I happened to be looking through the 'Just In' and caught sight of your story title. It intrigued me so I took a look and it was a good short story. I didn't really see anything wrong but I'm wondering if you had some sort of moral for the story? If not, oh well. ^^ It was good. Keep it up.

Good story. I hope you continue it and tell what happens to the beggar.

Nice first chapter! ^^ I liked how it was very flowing, and seems like a partially-woven piece of cloth (which is the metaphor you were obviously trying to bring to it), and each chapter will be a separate thread. Can't wait to read more!
--Scotia Li

Maybe you could co-write this with the author, 'Dream Waver's Shadow'..