FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Rowan MacKenzie 2005-04-01 ch 1,  | abuseWow! That's what love and happiness are all about. Being with someone who makes you content, makes you smile, makes you want them. You captured love in one poem. Great job! |
| Just Wolf 2003-10-11 ch 1, | abuseyour prose is always beautiful, but your poetry, or this poem, anyway, is certainly lacking in skill and poise. you have some very beautiful images, such as in the first stanza. the last line in the second stanza is about the last good point, tho'. a lot of your lines seem meaningless, such as 'the depth in your eyes shows truth'. what depth? what do you mean by truth? it doesn't really add anything. the 'god, i want you' refain somehow manages to bring down any of the dainty power that you managed to convey in the erlier part of the opoem. and your last stanza, frankly, sucks. it's sappy, and slightly pretantious. this poem had definate hints of talent, but mostly its shaky, like the wobbly lines in bad drawings, drawn by people that might one day be good. |
| Mackenzie Anderson 2003-10-08 ch 1, | abuseAnd you said my sappyness was sickening! *grins to herself* I always knew you'd fall prey to the demon of love. Well written. |
| Aake Redfield 2003-10-07 ch 1, | abuseI likeit. Lovely flow. And I specifically like the atmosphere you establish, it's so vibrant and present, so can smell it. Awesome work! I'll be reading some of your fics, interesting titles. |
| s.o.s 2003-10-07 ch 1, anon. | abuseit's nice. Not my thing, but I like it, very well done, some nice images again. Short and very sweet.. my teeth hurt.. lots of emotions but I'd expect nothing less from you. *praises* Well done. sos |