FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| dear bones 2004-12-11 ch 1,  | abuseOh god I want to cry because this is so beautiful. It's perfect, and so vivid. I love dreaming, and this poem really made me feel so...entranced. You are an amazing writer, honestly. I love this poem so much. |
| featherlight 2004-05-28 ch 1, | abuseVery vivid. I liked the last line of the first stanza: "On a palanquin of bright fairytale." I like that idea, fairytale being a palanquin, something that holds you up and carries you. I also loved the description of the mountain peaks as "winter-bathed." It sounds so clear and refreshing, but bitingly cold at the same time. Beautiful. |
| be willow 2004-04-15 ch 1, | abuseSo poignant and bittersweet...I like how the poem actually flows along smoothly. |
| Willow Elandria 2004-03-31 ch 1, | abuseonce again... beautful. effective rhyming without sounding forced, wonderful use of rich language. just one thing: "stars" and "grass" don't rhyme... this threw me off a bit. otherwise, very good. ~Willow |
| ittybittytreefrog 2004-01-26 ch 1, | abuseVery nice imagery in this poem. Your descriptions really paint pictures in my mind. My one criticism would be that you break from iambic pentameter, which this seems to be written in, many times in this poem and it is very distracting from the poem's flow. |
| Ilsa Immerman 2004-01-25 ch 1, | abuseAh, how wonderful it is to dream and how awful it is to be wake up in the middle of an especially nice one. Great flow. Again, I love your choice of words. Very well done. |
| xLecta 2004-01-24 ch 1, | abusebeautiful...woah...I love it, great work. |
| Furball*of*Evilness 2004-01-18 ch 1, | abuse*sniffles* i'm touched. this is beautiful...aw...what loveliness. i love the second verse, 'velvet sky' just makes me smile. ^^ |
| Tempest Breeze 2004-01-07 ch 1, | abuseI loved it, have you ever tried getting any of your writing published? |
| godawful teen-angst poetry 2003-12-30 ch 1, | abuse... Wow... And you've...totally put me to shame. This is awesome, awesome, awesomeness...Every line just sort of, I don't know, draws you in...and your vocabulary! Austere, pallid, burnished, palanquin*, irridescent, mellifluous*, melded, sleep-shrouded*. All used perfectly. It does seem a fairytale, a dreamland, and the ending was quite gently sad; the "shaded" room (nice), and then her tear. I like this muchly...onto my faves...you are officially master of both haiku and long form which is rare and I now love you for it. ~lyv |
| TiEka Koniku 2003-12-11 ch 1, | abusewow. this is like really cool. such expressions!! you are a great writer. i plan on reading more. *TI* |
| Psycho-kyugurl 2003-12-09 ch 1, | abuseoh my...this is an inspring one! Reading this just made my heart palpates faster and my mind soar into the depths of the fantasy world together with the poem. The imaginery is so vivid that it's made me feel like jolting something down right now...and you know what? I think i'll do! |
| cosmo-queen 2003-12-05 ch 1, | abuseAbsolutely beautiful, I loved this, it really touched me. The picture you painted here was simply amazing. What beautiful words you used to express this fantastical dream. Now I'm longing to dream of a mystical realm of my own. Sigh. Simply stunning work. It's off to the favourites with this poem. Keep up the fantastic work! *cosmo-queen* |
| Werecat99 2003-11-23 ch 1, | abuseI liked that. It did feel like a fairytale, and the words flowed easily. |
| Desert Wrath 2003-11-23 ch 1, | abuseI loved this poem! I could actually see the dream being played! It used a lot of excellent description! Keep on writing, and thanks for reviewing my haiku! -Desert Wrath |