This is really awesome. You have a lot of good descriptive words, and now I sound like my English teacher. Damn. Oh well, this was really good.

that makes no sense whatsoever, but it's still good to read. maybe it would be good if you'd put this in a story where this girl actually has a past. what i'm trying to figure out is what was the light on the horizon? good descriptions, though.

Pretty good descriptions, and surprising ending. Should put in more of her past, though.

Great story. I only hope this isn't the end. It seemed so fatalistic. In someway it reminded me of William Goldman's Pincher Martin (Author of Lord of the Flys) which has one of the greatest endings of any book I've read.
Hope you continue with this.

Lowell

This is great and writen really proffesionally. The descriptions nice and u sort of left info about the girl open so that people keep reading. I'll add it to my favourites.