Reviews for Doubles Squared - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Doubles Squared - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

method acting 2005-06-15 ch 1,	I loved the summary for this, so I clicked on it, intruiged. I thought the whol thing was amazingly clever. Nice job.
goopygoop 2004-10-23 ch 24,	How does Rihua know intimate details of Neil and Diana's lives? It seems to me that even if she knew that they were spies, she wouldn't know very much about their personal lives (she would most likely have more important things to worry about). The characters are acting rather familiar for having (for all intents and purposes) only just met. It doesn't feel right to me; that's my thought. And now Laiered has no excuses to not read a certain story. Why hasn't she? Curiouser and curiouser...
goopygoop 2004-09-06 ch 22,	HAAHAHHAHAH! Sorry, Dairick's reaction to being left in the desert just cracked me up. With my luck, it wasn't meant to be funny...but it was. Dairick seems distrustful of the Singers. There is surely a reason. Diana, Neil and Rihua were sent by the Three Singers. There is surely a reason. But we're not getting any. Don't get me wrong, girls; suspense is good. Just don't keep that trio sitting together doing nothing. It's unproductive and boring. Before I forget...LAIERED YOU HAVE A STORY AND THREE SHORT PREQUELS TO READ IN LIEU OF ANOTHER STORY YOU DID NOT READ. JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER.
Lady Ithilpharaz 2004-08-16 ch 21,	I like how this is going. Thank you goopygoop for your objective criticism! BTW, do you even know who is writing which chapters? I really liked these past chapters! I wonder what's gonna happen to Dairick...
goopygoop 2004-08-07 ch 21,	Ok, girls. This chapter seemed almost like two different chapters, written by two different people. The first part of the chapter was very good; good plot analysis. However, the second part was very...not as good, I'll say. Dairick seemed horribly out of character, as did the Three Sisters. The dialouge didn't really do it for me; for some reason, it felt wrong. Perhaps I'm wrong in some way, but that's the impression I got.
goopygoop 2004-08-05 ch 20,	Hmm, a hawk. Interesting plot device. Good description in this chapter, following the sucess of the previous one. It's clear to me who wrote these chapters (I think) just from the style of writing; I could be wrong, though. Err...there's not much else to say without more to read ^_^
goopygoop 2004-08-05 ch 19,	Hey, girls! Nice chapter, this one. I'm not really in favor of flat characters in any guise, even if they take the "all-powerful-unknown-motive'd-slightly-mysterious-mentor " archetype. It's a relief to find out that the Three Lad- oh, sorry, Singers, do in fact have personalities and stories to tell.
goopygoop 2004-07-16 ch 18,	Oh, interesting. I can't believe I just suspected that the Sisters spirited Neal away. Good use of entrapment of the reader! Rihua, eh? That price didn't seem very drastic to me, but I'm sure something will go wrong, like the king being a horrible ruler in need of a well-placed coup d'etat...we'll see. It seems like what I assume to be the three main characters have finally met. It's possible Dairick might be another main character, but for some reason he doesn't seem to fit into this puzzle in the same way that Dia, Neal and Rihua do. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's what it seems like to me. Because this chapter is mostly dialouge, there's not much to comment on when it comes to writing, as the dialouge flows pretty well.
goopygoop 2004-07-16 ch 17,	Wow, a magical transportation. I wish I could do that. Neil isn't having much luck with life lately, is he? And then the Lady General. She seems like a nice character, although I still haven't gotten a feel for her. I like very much the Three Sisters's descriptions, as I previously said. Their idea of a price for her wish is well done (at this point) despite the very trite cliche (sorry girls; it is very cliche'd). This chapter is written very well, in stark comparison to the last one. Good job with the improvements; I'm interested to know what the price is (although you all most likely will not tell me).
goopygoop 2004-07-16 ch 16,	Why does Dia have so many names, many with different spellings? Just a rhetorical question, pay it no mind. Well, I can see how plotlines are converging. That makes a lot of sense. For a moment, I thought that the Lady General was Dia, but of course they're different people as they've gone through different things at the same time (quite a feat for one person). Some of the writing in this chapter seems forced and dry, especially the first and last paragraphs. I do like how the Three Sisters are described with many different phrases, such as their direction position, hair color or dress color. Also, I would change the word "hostilely"; it sounds wrong somehow. Perhaps "with hostility"?
goopygoop 2004-07-16 ch 15,	It's been a long time since I've read Doubles Squared, and, unlike Fiona, I didn't reskim this story as I remember two things about it: 1. It was quite confusing. 2. It was romance, not my favorite genre. So I'll do the best I can; I remember a lot of what's going on, so I think I'll do all right. First, the Lady General hasn't formally been introduced, has she? I looked back a few chapters, and she's been in scenes but never anything very explicit. So I'll wait to deal with her until she gets more screen time (possibly with Neal). Speaking of Neal, I'm obviously not sure what's happening to him. This chapter is short, so there's little to be read/reviewed. On to the next one, then.
goopygoop 2004-04-03 ch 14,	He stepped through- ...and then he died. BTW, Laiered, read any good stories on ff.net lately? I know Lindoriel has...
Lara Bykirk 2004-03-28 ch 12,	Oh, good good good good good! I really liked this chapter! It was suspenceful! And exciting! And you have to write! (This last comment was to the other of us.)Soon!
goopygoop 2004-02-22 ch 10,	Oh, what a touching expression of Dairick's love for Diana. He's willing to forgive Neil; how touching. I think I'll barf. Anyways, this story is going well. As you all know, I'm not a fan of romance, so that comment above was not criticism...unless Laiered wrote it, that is. Sadly, I have not much to say about this story...there wasn't much writing. In other words, this chapter could have been written in about 10 minutes. So, write more and I'll review more. Deal?
Nick Arnosti 2004-02-16 ch 9,	Wow. This story keeps switching back and forth. Who's good and who's bad? Do you even know? Included in the story should be a little more background information: even if you want to keep it more or less mysterious, it is impossible for us to understand the meaning of many things you write about the three singers, the allies, the king, and the king of the rebels. I really don't understand which groups are fighting against which, or which king you are talking about when you write 'the king.' A few questions I have are these: How does 'Diana' recognize 'Kiaric' in his new form? How do they escape -- a prison cell likely only has one entrance/exit -- they didn't walk right by the guards, did they? How did Diana even get out of her cell in the first place? How does Niel know where to meet them? He didn't even know they would escape. Why would Niel and Kiaric fight right ouside of the castle wall? Wouldn't Niel, at least, be concerned primarily with escape, since being right outside of you enemies' castle isn't exactly safe? Also, it seems unlikely that when Diana hears from Kiaric that he decieved her, wouldn't she even be slightly concerned about it? Obviously this is not great literature, but it is very interesting to see so many betrayals. For the sake of readers sanity (as far as wondering who is on who's side), continue the story -- this is a good read despite being excessively melodramatic.

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