 DefianceIsMe 2003-11-04 . chapter 1I like the questions and the idea is good, for the most part it flows nicely, but there is one part i have a suggestion on. Where it says:
"Shall I say it way too many times before
You’re sick of it?"
I think maybe the before is awkward there and would sound better on the next line. That's just my idea..you can do as you like of course... |