It is a good effort.
My opinion: I don't feel any of the pain of revelation that the poem is supposed to portray.

This is so good!
Wow, i need to start writing haiku again. I dont know, it works so well. Each line. Perfect!
Awesome job.

This was really neat. Awesome job.
~Lidless Eye

A truly original and fresh way to look at forgivenes. I'd have to completely agree that it's different than repentance, rather than just giving lip service to the victim. Gripping first line; powerful message; brilliant work.

A very powerful haiku. Dark but ever so meaningful. Excellent work, keep it up.
*cosmo-queen*

powerful and dark. it amazes me all that you are able to convey in three short lines. great job!

haunting.. very well done :)

-.o Great... words to haunt me before I go to bed...

Lol! I see why Heart of the Sword spoke so highly of you!

Ouch...that was angsty. but so vividly pictured Great work ^_^

I always love reading your work. Each piece you write is always so beautiful. This is no exception.


~Heart of the Sword

Magnificent. Is there anything you can't do?