very very strong words, and well set out. the separated 'i truly hate' really gives it some effect.
i find that i get the opposite, i try to hide how i feel inside, and succeed. even my best mates dont really notice. they just see the smile and the laugh, and think im fine. *sigh* thats life for you.

Okay, since I'm not prepared to list off all the CRAP in that, let me just leave it at this: Keep writing, keep practicing.

I like it short it makes it more powerful great poem

this is...so...good. i know only too well what you mean. short but sweet, i think thats always better. great job. great job. great job.
-Fio
*read my stuff

interesting. it seems like maybe this could be part of a larger poem--also part of a larger meaning. the only advice i have would be to step away from literary allusion and reach for rich imagery. keep writing!