interesting style, very clear

Wonderfully fantastical-the tone of imagining something fairly ordinary doing something impossible and magical-like flying!-is just so refreshing. It's great that an older (than me) writer can still have imagination.

weird, yet good.

~Kiwi

Interesting vision. I wasn't really expecting that when you started describing the pin, I thought it would just be a descriptive poem. What's with the slash, tho? I didn't get that... Anyway, good job. I like it a lot.

lovely descriptions. i like the end line, it gives a good feel to the end of the poem. keep writing!

I like this. Short, and sort of has a clipped, metallic feel- in keeping with the subject.

Keep it up, this is lovely.

Mia