wow, that was amazing. you did a wonderful job switching back and forth from telling the story from your POV to what he was thinking. at least i think that's what you were doing. i don't know, but i enjoyed it lots!

you have an incredible talent in poetry. keep it up!

This and its companion piece are beautifully written... and both going on my favorites list. This is how most people aspire to write.

Wow. :: Stunned :: that was beautiful. I could ramble endlessly for hours about this poem, but instead i'm going to sum it up. I loved it - it's on my fav. list - it was softly sharp, bitter chocolate, and all those morbid yet sweet things. Bitter Sweetness. That's what it is. I don't know what to say to you about this poem. it's great however. Lovely. Beautiful. Raw. Warm. Cold. Frozen Fire. Bitter Sweetness. Ya know?

Similar to your descriptions of 'at 17' one. Again, I like very much so. I like how you start off with quotes and it goes with the theme of your poems. BRILLIANT WORK!
Jenna xx

your structure is interesting
however, what really drew me in were your very original descriptives
i especially liked the line "the day he lifted the blindfold was the day i died;
i was a ruin of charred stones and torn walls."
great work

God almighty, it's a canvas. I liked the quotes laddled throughout the poem...great work!

why hasn't this been reviewed more?...anyway, it's beautiful. everything about it is beautiful; the concept, the descriptions, even the title. i read a few of your other works. you're on my favorites list.

-escape into reality

Okay, that was a harsh first taste of heartbreak ...

... and DAMN, dude! DAMN! DAMN! *bangs head on desk* Be ready. An essay follows.

[RANT]

OH! MY! GOD! This is why you're on my favourite's list. I devoured the words. That poem was like a great spill of ink, black and just a fraction more viscous than water, but yet not so thick as blood. Wow.

The 'claret', the italics, the way the texture of him feels so deceptively soft in my head ... how he must have been in real life. *wide-eyed, thinking*

What a painful experience. But yet, the psychotic part of me adores the beauty mingled with all the pain ...

Let me *try* and isolated a few favourite things without quoting the entire poem.

'he told me things that i’ve never heard
from a human mouth before.'
- there is nothing especially poetical about this, at least not when compared to the rest of the poem. But it hit me like a dash of cold water.

'i will fill you with discoloured dreams' ... genius

'a jagged coast dishonoured by the cold ocean ... darkness that the moonlight will not touch.' - beautiful imagery. This is how words should be treated: worshipped. Something about 'blushing ear' ... it really reminded me of that feeling when your ear burns at times ... and then just the actual metaphor itself.

His dialogue is very beautiful ... the format of this poem is really really effective.

'he blindfolded me, guided me through the shadows
of my tormented mind.' - excellent metaphor.

'i will desecrate your body.’ - cruel pretty honesty. 'carefully fabriated reality.'

'only he alone could bring me to my knees.
...
he was my poetry
and i was in love.
i could not let go.'
- more genius

'he told me i was beautiful like this...'

*breathes* I HAVE quoted the entire poem.

Damn.

Write more like this.

We want large volumes of d2ragnorak Rakuen-like fiction. We want it here, and we want it now.

I think...

Well, it doesn't matter what I think. This is wonderful, absolutely entrancing. Beautiful. And it kept me to the very end, which is surprising, since I don't usually go for poetry.

Kudos; I can't wait for more work from that amazing mind of yours.

Oh my word.

*exhale*

That is so beautiful. And so sad. Tragedy can be beautiful, I know, and this is...wow. I'm sorry you had to experience something like this, but damn, you write it out perfectly. I feel now that my writing is insignificant and should be destroyed. Sigh. I want to write like this. Wonderful, just wonderful.

*Clarie*

Wow *stares in awe* where did you come up with the inspiration for this!
I love the bits he says and although the poems long it holds your attention well I didn't want to stop reading! You could maybe make that into a great story (hint hint *looks hopeful*)
This has to be one of my favourites ^_^
Well done!