A well written haiku with disturbing imagery that is conveyed clearly by the use of contrast, at the same making an important statement. It saddens me to know violence of all sorts, especially domestic violence, exists in our society. Also with domestic violence there is always that element where one feels they cannot break free, as clearly seen by your use of the words "charismatic smile". Yes, appearances can be deceiving. Anyways, nice work!

really liked this poem...i know about this kind of thing first hand...you describe it so prefectly. ppl that are violent can at times be so winning and charismatic...you are thrown off your guard...till the next time. and i love the contrast of :
Gently rub my bruised body
With your open fists
heartstopping...wonderfully done.

Oh the giggles, repress, repress! Quite lovely...strange things make me smile in a crazed manic state.

Oh. . ."gently rub my bruised body/with your open fists"
You put such images in my head. Evocative.
-Jessica

This was so dark and had such a high level of intensity to it. You really do have much talent.
~Heart of the Sword

Oh...god. Wow. Your haiku are brutally fragile, if that makes any sense...like glass, except broken, and with jagged edges sharp as razors, digging harshly into its wrists and spraying a red mist on my screen. This has such a pitifully realistic connotation...an abused woman taking her husband/boyfriend back...the inevitable potential was brilliantly realized with the last line. "open fists". Exactly. So heartbreaking. You're officially on the faves list, dear.
~lyv

Your use of words are really excellent. The lines of "Gently rub my bruised body with your open fists" was a unique and amazing use of words. This is an excellent haiku.

Dark but very powerful and meaningful. Your choice of words was very effective. Keep writing.
*cosmo-queen*

OK, this is amazing work!

Oh...shockingly disturbing ending. Your haikus are twistedly lovely.

For the poem you read: It applies to Zelda like this: You remember fighting Ganondorf in Ocarina? Well, I was watching my sister do it, as I've beaten it a number of times and I was bored. But, this was his form when he floats in air and hurls orbs of light at you while swishing his cape. Well, my sister was being lethargic and unattentive, and he did one of the ultimate light attacks with multiple balls of light that swirl around and one must do a magic spin to hit one, and she got blasted with multiple orbs of light. It looked, well, beautiful, and that's where the poem came from. While writing it, though, I used varying ideas that I had always gotten from Link's quest and applied them to his illumined death. Sorry for the confusion. Did my explanation help in the least?

open fists...clever word play.

omg, so vivid and sad

dark... dark... dark...

I like it alot
-kriss

I love the contrast of the smile and the fists