FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| twisted little secret 2004-04-01 ch 1,   | Interesting piece, it really provokes thought, and the last line just hits you. -nix- |
| lronMaiden 2004-02-04 ch 1, | cool! i love the last line its just so FINAL... very powerful poem too. |
| shinco 2004-01-31 ch 1, | Really cool one! Love the detail! Good job! |
| cosmo-queen 2003-12-05 ch 1, | Short and yet a very powerful poem. The ending was particularly effective. Ahh, conscience. It's a bittersweet thing. At least, for those who listen to it. Keep writing :) *cosmo-queen* |
| Nessiva 2003-11-21 ch 1, | I really enjoyed reading this. The poem is one of those that uses the most effective words possible to convey a message without any doubt, and the only suggestion I would have would be to reduce the number of commas. Maybe you could experiment with indent, especially with the "pitter... patter... stop" part. Overall, a good example of a contempory poem with them... (heh heh - English class). Thanks! |
| Dirty Wallpaper 2003-11-21 ch 1, | wow, definitely heart stopper right here. very effective, i loved "weeps till it drops" there was something so cold, so final about it, chilling indeed. kudos. |
| Infinity Plus One 2003-11-15 ch 1, | Oh. Um. *Thinks* *Dies* *Comes back to life* *Dies again* *Gets soul confiscated for dying more than once* *Cries* |
| taehyun 2003-11-12 ch 1, | Powerful and so short. You've sent the message soaring quite easily. Well done, my friend. Ja Ne. |
| purrrrfect poetry 2003-11-12 ch 1, | kl i like it better than ur ova 1 its kind ov long innit |
| Roadside Dryer 2003-11-10 ch 1, | Very short, very powerful! Great work. |
| Soviet 2003-11-10 ch 1, | Very well done, short and it gets its meaning across.. good job |