FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| servent 2007-06-15 ch 10,  | her its servent i liked it u always right good stuff an this 1 was amzing |
| Maharajah 2004-08-25 ch 10,  | Hullo, again! I read your story all the way through. Excellent, excellent work. A few grammatical and spelling errors, but nothing major. Not a lot else to say, except well done! |
| rachel...too lazy to log in... 2004-08-02 ch 10, | *sobs* that was such a sappy ending! lol, it was fun though. DIE JACK! sorry...im ok... |
| Autumn Queen 2004-08-02 ch 3, | loads of mistakes here, but it does give us better insight to Sapphire's life at school. The formatting on the notes need some help, let readers know that they're notes. " I didn't have any siblings, and never did end up having any." Is basically saying the same thing twice. "I would answer a question voluntarily. Or not." Again, the first period should be a comma. I email my chapters to Ali-O when i finish them so that she can fix all my mistakes. If you asked her she'd probably do the same for you. *shrugs* Just a suggestion... |
| Autumn Queen 2004-08-02 ch 2, | don't we all hate school? lol. "...all of the rest of the teacher's in my classes." teacher's should be teachers...i think that about it tho...for this chapter... |
| Autumn Queen 2004-08-02 ch 1, | I'm feeling nit-picky here, especially after the email i just sent you...but anyways...in "That was her style. Sarcasm." the first period is supposed to be a comma...But it's nice and introduces the problem right away. ^:D^ |
| Hermione Elizabeth Granger 2004-08-02 ch 10, | I loved this story, it was great! I especially loved this chapter, though. You did a great job with the trial and again, your vocabulary choice was amazing. I loved it! I'm so happy Sapphire it finally free, at least for awhile to get over everything. Haha...evil Uncle Jack...*hugs you* By the way, I'm going to the library today and I'll ask Mrs. Haloin about those publishers...since you've finished this now, maybe you can send it in... |
| Phoebe Love 2004-08-01 ch 10, | You did a really good job with this--especially for your first story. I think that you should consider writing a sequel so that we know how Sapphire turns out, will she and Cole get together, is her uncle really out of her life, etc. And I look forward to reading other stories by you. Feebs |
| Aphrodides 2004-07-27 ch 9, | I hope they get his butt! Update soon! |
| Hermione Elizabeth Granger 2004-07-27 ch 9, | I envy your writing so much...I wish I could write like that! Anyway, I really loved this chapter. You portrayed Sapphire's emotions really well, and...poor Sapphire! Can't wait to see what else you come up with - hope it's a happy ending. Update soon! |
| Umino Ayame 2004-06-24 ch 8, | DIE, JACK!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! sorry...im ok...good job! more please! |
| Gloria Seirc 2004-06-20 ch 11, | How can that happen? There's nothing that you've said so far that would indicate that Sapphire and her mom had done something to Jack...he did it all to them! This just keeps getting more and more interesting... |
| KatieKates 2004-05-30 ch 3, | Hm...I've only read the first three chapters, but do I feel a bit of a romance coming on? |
| Gloria Seirc 2004-05-30 ch 10, | Yay! Finally rid of him...although I have the feeling he's somehow going to come back...please write more soon! |
| donmichaello 2004-05-30 ch 10, | this is a great story. I really like the characters, but I wish Cole was in it more. If u write more to it, I'd like to see more of him. |