FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Zen Svier 2003-11-13 ch 1,   | Thanks for all of the reviews. They really help me to write better. Maybe i'll be able to think of somthing that rhymes with 'more' lol |
| LegendaryPunk29 2003-11-13 ch 1, | Good solid poem, and I think I do understand what you mean. Great piece of work! Keep it up! Peace OuT! |
| JackDavis 2003-11-13 ch 1, | Ah, the 'wonders' of modernization, industy, capital... is it all worth it? I can both the left and right wing philosophies taking your poem as support for their own values. I notice that the first and last couplets are imperfect rhymes, which works fine, but the couplet about Utopia and Eden's ryhme scheme is confusing, because you use the word 'more' twice in a row. |
| The Blind Guardian 2003-11-13 ch 1, | This poem is terribly accurate. Our world has beenn tainted by this new order, but dispite all the suffering and ignorance among us, we find reasons to keep going...Good poem. Your rhythm was well formed. |
| New Age Prophet 2003-11-13 ch 1, | Wierd but good. I think it's kind of too much in one poem. Maybe space it out. (pass on the gesture, review one of mine) |